And then she was one.

This week, 9.9.10 to be exact, was Elvis' birthday. The day came and went and it was nice and happy and we didn't do much because, well, because she is 1, what the hell does she know?

But I had planned for a party. Of my friends and family, it was held today.

I spent too much money and put in too many hours of work for a party she will never remember and probably wasn't too aware of all together but it was one of the funniest things I have done in a long time. 

Cutting out felt flowers and hanging them from the ceiling. Stringing feathered butterflies from the lights in the kitchen... I did it all for her. I was 100% in my element, I baked chocolate cupcakes and 2 pumpkin pies. I made Palmiers with pesto and sundried tomatoes and ham and cheese puff pastry straws. I made mimosas and home-made paperdolls, I spent countless hours with a pair of scissors in my hands and constantly thinking about "what else do I want to remember about this day? What else do I want to see in pictures when she is grown and she is showing pictures to her kids, of her 1st birthday? And in the end, I was happy, I thought there is nothing else. I have thought of everything. I did it, I was ready on time, everything was delicious and the baby was happy and my son was happy and the guests were happy. 

Wow.

(pics to come)

Alcohol

I don't understand alcoholics. I mean, really, I don't.

How they can just crack open beer after beer and know that they will feel like shit tomorrow. They talk under their breath, they slur speech (that is the WORST!)...

I guess growing up with an alcoholic has assured me of one thing. I will never be an alcoholic. Nope. Not gonna happen. I like my drink and the drinks the go with them but I LOVE my personality, or at least the idea that I can have one.

Good night.

Negative creep.

It's weird when you come into contact with people that are just negative. You try to ignore it, fight it and then finally just submit, you have to just bite your tongue (constantly) and hope that it passes quickly. I am struggling with this right now. I have the urge to point it out but I am sure it will do no good.

All I can do is know that I am doing my best to be a positive. Negative is stupid, pointless and who needs it.

LBC

We left Anaheim today for Long Beach. We are going to spend the next two days here then Eddie will fly to Durango, CO and I will go visit friends and family in San Diego.

We had so much fun in the pool yesterday, we did nothing else... well except drive all over looking for a baby floaty thing. I have one at home, bought one and left it in Mexico and I didn't think it would be so hard but since the retail people are insisting we ALL forget about summer and go back to school, it was a challenge to say the least.

Someone at Target suggested we go to Walmart but I suggested she be crazy. We instead went to Walgreens and found this super awesome one for only $10 and it has a little seat and everything. Elvis gets all excited when we blow up the floaty thing, she remembers Mexico I think. We all got in and it was so nice because it was HOT yesterday and today too. There's some kinda heat wave going around these parts but I welcomed it, all my friends in Cali said it has been a real cool summer and that was not what we were looking for this week.

We met up with our friends Dawn and Ruby and it was so good to see them. They moved out here in April and that is just too long to go without seeing such amazing people. Our kids have grown up together and it is sad that they will not be as close as they were but still seeing them together today you'd never know a day had passed, that is the thing about really great friends.

Tomorrow we will do a little of the same. Hang out by the pool and take walks, this time on the beach. We walked on the boardwalk today and it was a little touristy, I think we are going to go farther down tomorrow, we are right across from the Queen Mary, we can see it from the roof, which is where the pool is.

Speaking of pool, we were up there this evening and there were a group of people for happy hour or something and I saw one of the doctors from "Dr. 90210". He is that cute Asian guy that wears glasses, anyway- that's not important but it was something.

Elvis was thinking she could swing. Crawling along the top step she would splash down on her belly and smile real big. This older man walked over to her and started telling Eddie how cute she was and then she slipped and smacked her mouth on the side of the pool... the guy felt bad but not as bad as Eddie would was watching her. Her tongue was bleeding a little and she was all done with the pool. Poor thing. It is always so hard to see your baby get hurt, always. Q crashed a few weeks ago on his scooter and it was the worst fall for him since he was about 3, when he fell off the escalator in NYC. Ugh geez, that was one bloody mess, I still think about it every time I step onto an escalator, I will never forget that.

On a lighter note, I had a twinkie last night. I haven't had one in I don't know how long and it was pretty stale. I was thinking of how much better that could have been and so now I want a twinkie pan for Xmas. Oh yeah, they have them and I will too.

Anyway, I had the twinkie because I asked Eddie to pick me up a snack on his way back to the hotel. I had taken a painkiller because my foot was bothering me and it made me feel so sick, I was about to barf, it was awful and we had next to nothing in the room and of course there was no room service since it was 2 a.m. and we aren't in Vegas. The twinkie may have been stale but it did the trick.

No more rock n' roll?

I wonder. I was thinking tonight as Eddie was packing up to go to the show and I was starting the bath water- why I don't really have a desire to go out anymore... well, to go to shows.

I mean, I like them but I really don't have the urgency I once felt, that pull to get a sitter and rock out. I have no plans of going to any of these... 4 shows while we are on vacation in California, I just would rather be here with my kids.

I am so in love with being a Mommy, I always have been, for 9 years anyway, but right now I feel like I am excelling, I am getting it together... again. Not that I feel as if I didn't have it together but I suffered from a bit of the baby blues, I thought it was nothing but once it lifted, I can really see that I was struggling. I was definitely one of those people that thought it wouldn't happen to me but it did.

There's a sadness that you hear about, the feeling of no matter what something is missing and everything is cry worthy. I was sad when she turned 3 months, I felt like she wasn't an infant anymore and that was hard for me. It wasn't really until I saw my son be naturally adjusted to the big brother role that I really had my moment, that switch flipped, I saw what a beautiful 9 year old Quattro is and it hit me that even though she too will grow up (faster than I want) she's going to be fantastic. Thinking about all the awesome things I get to show her and teach her and discover all over again through a childs eyes... it made me better. I still have my days of wishing I could slow things down and that's when I do. I stop and cancel the play dates and take a rain check with friends and just sit on the floor and play with the kids and get Q in bed early so we can read longer. I'm trying, I am really trying to do this all right- again.

1:44 a.m.

and I am making birthday invitations for Elvis'.....fffffff....ffffffiiii...fffiiirrrr.... gasp. For Elvis' first birthday. Wow, that was hard. I am sad, I guess, that the year is over, I am sad that she is no longer a little blob but I love the fact that she's the age she is. She is fun. She is hysterical in fact but I am a little weepy.

So the invites... my eyes are crossing. Maybe I should retire for the night.

Come to me.

Don't you love it when something just comes to you? You are driving along and POW! an idea that just makes you smile.

It happened tonight. I was driving home from taking Eddie from the airport to Camp Mimi (to meet up with Q) and I was listening to his new record (in stores in about... 3 months) and I saw the cover of the album in my head. Not at all what we have been working on, shooting photos for- this is different, I can't wait!

Poof! just like that.

On a side note, I am spending another boyless night at home and ate 4 pieces of mushroom and jalapeno pizza... ugh.