Goin' back to Europe!

I am so excited to pack. I am really looking forward to all the craziness that goes into the trip. This time with a toddler.... more to come on that.

Fathers Day

Growing up it was the only holiday we didn't celebrate. 

We never had a reason for celebration and I never thought I cared.

As a child it was just so. I never gave the actual day much thought. It was what it was.

Now that I am grown (well, mostly) and I have children of my own, I can see what a huge deal a father is. I never quite understood how much I was missing out on. Denial? Maybe, but I was very young when I lost my father.

I knew growing up that I was missing something, like the physical being but the spirit of a father is what, I now believe, I missed out on the most. There is this presence only a father has. He's the man. 

Growing up I knew most of my friends had something I didn't. But to be completely honest, they usually had a lot more than I did anyway, so it was a feeling I was familiar with. 

On the days where they were yelled at or scolded by their fathers were the days I let rise to the top. If sadness ever reared it's ugly head, I just thought of the lame parts of what a father meant. The roughness, the intimidation. My friends' fathers ran the gamut. There were the ones that were never around. The ones that were rude and obnoxious. The ones that drank too much, or worse. The ones that cheated and left their mothers, to come back later with their tail between their legs... Then there were the ones that were super amazing, the ones that were there for the games, picked them up after school and showed up to the dance recitals. The ones that carried their little sisters in tutus and did the dishes after dinner. I would try not to hang around them too much. Jealousy never did look good on me and I knew that from a frighteningly young age.

But now... as I sit here, age 34 and completely (mostly) comfortable in my own skin, I feel sad in a way. I missed out.

My kids and I know my husband is not perfect. He is not always here, but he is never ever intimidating. He works a lot, but the only thing rough is his wild facial hair. He can't always make the games but he would never yell, he would absolutely never ever lose his cool with my children, or me. Most of all he loves me, their Mother, to his core. I am in the air he breathes and they know it. I am on his mind and in his song and they see and hear that. Their Father is not perfect. He has flaws. They are real, just like him. He spends the most precious moments paying attention to not only them but me. He is a real man, he is a happy man.

I never got to see my father love my Mother.

That is what I missed out on the most.

When my kids are grown up and starting families of their own, I know my son will walk somewhat in his Fathers' shoes. I know our daughter will know how a man should treat her and may she be wise to a mans tricks.

I find a lot of comfort in knowing that, eventually, I will be sending a man into the world who not only knows how to treat a lady but he will know what one is.

So to the Mothers out there who don't have fathers raising your kids, you have a job to do.

For the Fathers out there who are raising your kids, love their Mother.

People will debate until they are blue in the face about how you should celebrate the ones you love, your Mother, Father without the calendar telling you to do so. They say we shouldn't need a "Hallmark holiday" to tell you to be kind, be sweet, go see or call your Father on Fathers Day.

I call bullshit.

Take the help, I guarantee you need it.

Happy Fathers Day, Mom.

Well ain't that a bitch

Go ahead and try to do something nice at school. I dare you.

Go ahead and think of something creative and fun and you'll too see how quickly they turn it into shit.

I'm not speaking of kids, oh no, they are the easy part. I'm not talking about our teachers really either, I'm talking about "those people" the ones that are never happy. The ones that refuse to let something happen out of their grasp. Out of the their control? Maybe that is it. I'm sure it has something to do with it.

I am producing the talent show. With a handful of other dedicated parent volunteers, we are letting the kids fly their freak flag. Live a little. Feel the rush of nervous energy. It's what I enjoy most out of life, so why not bring it to our youth?

I have been met with mostly smiles and thanks but today marks the day of the dreaded hate email from one teacher who may not be named. Although it rhymes with "Panang".

Servantless cooks

Last night at 6:05 p.m. I wanted manicotti. 

At 7:18 p.m. we were eating just that.

Start with a big pot of water, on 8, close to high (put a lid on it)

baking dish- ceramic is best because it is cute on the table

get all you ingredients out- it is the best way. Even if you aren't an organized person, be an organized cook, you'll thank me.

Big tub of ricotta

2 eggs

dried oregano

fresh oregano

cumin

thyme

mozz, shredded

manicotti noodles

Large can of whole tomatoes (no salt is best), pulse in food processor 

can of tomato sauce (straight, not marinara)

1 onion, diced

4 garlic cloves, diced

1 lb ground beef, sirloin or whatever

3 carrots, diced

Brown the beef in a big, high sided pan on med/ med high

toss in the carrots and onion when there is only a little pink left 

push everything to the side of the pan, tip it and take the fat out. Use a spoon or one of those gadgets they have, the one with the bulb... I don't have one. I only have tools that are multi-functional, it's my thang

2 t. dried thyme

put a lid on it and turn it down a bit

***this is a good time to put your noodles in the boiling water, lid off*****

about 5-8 minutes later add garlic, tomatoes and tom sauce

Simmer sauce for about 10 minutes or until you need it

Add fresh oregano if you have it or dried, start with 1/2 tsp

Preheat to 375*

put ricotta with 2 eggs, 1 cup shredded mozz cheese a pinch of salt, pepper, cumin (about 1/4 tsp), 1/2 thyme and 1/2 T fresh oregano.. stir together making sure eggs are incorporated,

you can whisk those with a fork first

Then take a large ziplock and open it and turn down the sides. Set it in a glass or bowl pointy side down (to keep it upright) and fill it with cheese mixture. Twist the bag around the cheese and zip it shut

Snip off the end (small hole is best)

Put enough sauce to cover the bottom of your baking pan

Fill each noodle with your handy little cheese tube-thingy

you can put them in a row or crowd them in the pan

cover them with sauce and foil 

bake for about 20 minutes 

then foil off, top with cheese and it's ready to serve in under 10 minutes

when bubbling and your house smells divine.

I served mine with steamed broccoli which is my favorite right now because it is cheap and versatile, even thought you wouldn't think so.

Once steamed (and not to mush) I whisk 1/2 a lemon with a pinch of salt, some dill with about 2-3 T of good olive oil

I drizzle that over the broccoli and put in about 1T of butter and before serving stir it in (you can omit the butter, but I cannot)

Guilt. It's what's for dinner.

 

I tried. I really did. I narrowly enjoy the days when I have a cold and feel it is best to lay in bed and hope to the benadryl gods that I will feel like my old self tomorrow, I guess because I get to. When my husband is gone, there is no getting sick, I know plenty of people know what I'm talking about- so ya, today, I gave it the ol' boating school try.

But... I still made dinner and did all the little things I could to help them out. I put post it notes on Q's homework and set the table for them to have a fantastic dinner, which I made before my much needed midday nap. When I woke up they were just leaving for Q's Little League game, which Eddie tried to keep me from feeling guilty for missing but I still do.

I sat out back with the dogs and washed Q's school clothes, I even did the dishes. I guess it is Mom guilt, I mean, I can't even lay in bed with a splitting headache, runny nose and plugged ears without feeling I missing something and mainly missing someone.

Totally not fair

No matter how many times I wash my hands, use my elbow to push a door open, use my sleeve to turn a knob. No matter how often I wipe my kitchen counters, go to the gym and take my vitamins, it's all for not because I think I am getting sick.

I have had one child or another sniffling and coughing for the last 2 1/2 weeks, I fully thought I had dodged this one. But no.

I feel bad for my family, as I will most likely be in bed tomorrow. Not driving to school or making dinner. I'm not going to take my daughter to the gym or pick up fresh produce. I'm not going to make dinner or help our son with his homework or give the baby a bath. I probably won't take the dog for a walk and I am definitely not going to get to any of the laundry, the stuff that's in the dryer or the shit at the end of the bed.

So that's it, that's my plea for my family to do the right thing tomorrow. Don't make a mess, order take out and don't forget to walk the dog.

They call this literature?

I'm so uninspired when I ask those in the know about children's books. 

My son is 10, he can read better than I can. No really, he corrects my spelling (whatever, not my thing) and so it goes I walk into random book stores and libraries and ask "those people" about interesting children's books, but I tell them not for his grade, maybe one or two up (we could probably go up to 12th grade but I don't want to seem stuck up) and every time they walk me to the mystical dragon, warrior, vampire, ageless bat boy section. I'm pretty sure that's a section, it must be, THEY ALL HAVE IT.

Anyway, so I'm asking you, the people I am pretending to be friends with and probably would be if I had the time or energy for friends (kidding, I love my friends), what does one smart child read when he does not fancy the fantasy?