Good bye 2011.

I have had a fantastic couple weeks. I feel as though we are saying good bye to 2011 the right way. We are together, at home and just enjoying our lives. It isn't always easy to do that, especially this time of year. Everyone is running around, spending too much money and just stressing out.

Not us, not this year.

I am so thankful for that, I am thankful for the people I know, my friends and family.

Today Eddie and I are heading out of town, driving to Portland for his NYE show. I am leaving the baby for the first time- I am a little anxious about it but I am excited too. It is good for both of us. All of us really, I am a firm believer of taking time for your spouse, I mean without that relationship, I would have nothing. I try to always remember that. If I wasn't insanely in love with my husband, I would not be a good mother. He is a very important part of my tone on life.

So we are excited, he just came up here and said "that doesn't look like packing"- I am suppose to be getting ready to go. We are trying to leave in an hour and a half. So I should do that, although squeezing this ever growing bump in a tight dress is getting harder and harder but I bought one special for tonight- if it doesn't fit, I am going to go naked.

Happy New Year everyone. Be good. Be safe. Time to pack.

.67 cents Pt 2

Our school raised something like $1070 for this incredibly amazing cause.

I donated $20 after my son informed me that it would feed about 29 families.

I could spend $20 on 4 coffees from Starbucks or feed 29 families.

Probably the best $20 I have ever spent. Seriously.

What a difference a decade makes.

A friend of mine was asking if I felt bad that my sons childhood was so different from my daughters. At first I was a little confused, was it different?

They explained how when my son was young, we spent most of our time on tour. Traveling the globe, sitting on planes, buses or the good ol' econoline. My son sat on the stage for Farm Aid more than once, he rode a scooter across the stage while Pearl Jam was sound checking...

I was brought back to that time, with fondness, I mean- it was radical! But it is all still there. That is still in our life, although we don't consume ourselves with it. Being older maybe the factor. I know that I want more out of my life than my husbands dreams- I mean, he too wants more out of his life of music, that is why he now has a family. But the thing for me is, I guess I am more comfortable with where my life is headed. I am a homemaker, I do this. I am here and there. I can pack a lunch or a bag for Paris. I will, I do, I have.

What got me about this conversation was the fact that the feeling of "jipping" my daughter was out there. Like her childhood would not be as what? rock n' roll? Maybe not. To me that is not a bad thing. But I don't think so really. Less so, but not non existent. 

What I do appreciate about this point in my life, other than the slower speed, the less travel (although 6 weeks in Europe doesn't exactly make me feel like we travel less... maybe less often and for longer?...) are the things I don't miss.

See with my son, we were all over the place. We were running around, moving, touring like crazy- it was what was fun then but I do feel I missed some things. Maybe while I was packing up the cab, I missed my sons first- oh whatever. I don't know, but it could have happened. 

Anyway, to get to the point... what I thought of- the past raising of child vs the now. When we were in Mexico last summer, we walked out of the resort we were at to go out to the beach and it was a corridor type thing and when we turned the corner the wind hit us all, it was warm and fantastic and I looked at my daughter and I got to see her face. Her eyes and mouth wide open- I got to see her discover wind. 

I'll trade rock n' roll for that any day but you know what? I don't think I have to.

The no birthday party, party.

With all of this talk about Christmas, I am always amazed by how quickly my sons birthday pops up. It is not as if I don't think of it all year, or again at Thanksgiving or while we are getting our Christmas tree. But suddenly, it's time! 

He will be 11 in less that 2 weeks. 

After last years 10 year extravaganza (we had a full rock show birthday bash at the beloved Sunset Tavern here in Ballard. It was amazing, I worked my ass off) and my daughters 1st birthday which was an equally impressive butterfly themed girl party... I told my husband I had to take a year off. I told everyone we had to have at least one year with no parties. I love them and I will keep doing them but September and December are close together. With Halloween in the middle and not to mention the holidays... I just knew my goose was cooked. I had family in town for Elvis' 1st, my husband wasn't even here, he was in South America (skyped during the party). My Mom was staying at our house and his Mom and boyfriend were in town for the week... it was epic and awesome and I nearly cracked. Having him gone is something I do, I get it but our fall/winter is some kind of busy. Has always been that way and it will always be that way but I had to call off the birthday parties for 2011.

And so far I have been successful. I am not anti calling off the "call off". I am okay with saying something and then doing another- this is my life, so I feel like I have that right. But when you get kids in the mix, I don't know, it's like I have to start thinking like a grown up or something and really the bottom line for me is I always feel like I am trying to raise, not kids, but grown ups. I am trying to raise a man and now a woman. That is my current order of business.

So when I make a decision that involves my kids directly, I feel it is my duty to stick to it. Again, this is not in my nature, I'm a waffler of sorts, I like options but with kids, I just get the feeling the less "waffly" I am, the better. I want them to know how to make decisions and see stuff through. It's a little ironic I am learning it all at the same time but that's cool too. See- easy, peasy!

When Elvis' 2nd birthday came along, I have to admit, it was hard to not throw a party. Even a small one. Instead I stuck to my guns, made a cake and called a friend and her kids and invited them to walk down the park that overlooks the sound and have a piece of cake with us. No presents, no party favors. Just us, the beautiful sunset and a fantastic cake. It was a very special birthday and I think that is part of it. When you cut out all the crap, you get to actually see your child on their birthday. I got to watch my kid turn 2. It was magic.

Now for some reason this birthday for my son is different. I am finding it VERY hard to keep it so basic. I just don't think I can. So does that make me rotten? Am I showing him the opposite of what I'd like? Maybe.

We are going to take him and some friends to the movies, he really wants to see "Tin Tin" and then we are going to walk down to the Sunset and have pizza. It's a little more than a park and a cake, but for him, with 10 years of fabulous birthdays under his belt- this will be the no birthday party, party.

My Mom said when my sister and I were young, we got a 5th year party and then another one at like 10 or 12. Which was fine, I am sure we loved it and they were fabulous but I am different. I can't help but give him something special, he gives me something special every day/week/month because he is so good. He is a fantastic child. He works hard, he is smart, he is funny and he really loves life. I can't help but celebrate that.

Christmas presents. To give or not to give. That is the MFing question.

Every year I promise to not spend a fortune. I tell myself that it isn't important that I get my Mother something amazing, or my son everything on his list, but it does seem as though... I just might forget about all of that and then I am starring down the end of a very long list of things I have purchased.

Not this year.

I am sick of over indulging my children, who have everything. We don't have one of those houses with 14 bins of legos and we don't have 17 dolls or 250 Littlest Pet Shop animals but we are fortunate. I like to get rid of stuff, like toys that are never used and stuffed animals, in general (because they are disgusting) but the kids have stuff. They need for not.

I understand it is Christmas and the "rule" is, it's time to get presents. I don't care where it all came from. I do not go to church, I do not teach my children the religious side of the holidays, at all. I think it is all made up (like religion in general) and we just go with it.

But when and how do you draw the line? I'm perplexed. 

I remember when I was 8 years old, my Mother told me it was the last year Santa would come visit us. There was an adult argument going on at the time, but I remember it like it was yesterday. This will not happen in my house. Santa will come here until I am dead. I am fucking Santa!

One year I bought my son so many presents, when I was putting them all under the tree, I actually put some back into my closet. I was smothering him. Even though he would have loved it, I had to restrain. I couldn't drown him in gifts, I just couldn't. It was not borderline ridiculous, it was fucking insane.

Since my daughter has come along it has been, ahem, easier to draw the line. There are two kids- there are two stockings... you get the idea. I am not living out of my car but I do shop for things on sale. I have to be careful and even more so with a third on the way.

Say your child wants a few things and then one super expensive gift... what do you do?

One year he wanted a bike and a drum kit. We thought that sounded easy enough. So after Eddie's Mom spent $300 on the bike (Electra!) we dropped around $500 for the drum set. Well, I didn't but Eddie did. He handled the "deal" and when I heard how much it was, I was shocked, I immediately wanted nothing for Christmas. $500! Insanity.

This year it's a Flying V. They aren't much cheaper. My fear is it will get played about as much as the drum kit that has taken up the better part of my basement for the last 6 years. The kid plays guitar but I think a Flying V is... ridiculous. There, I said it. I think he should get an acoustic, seems more simple and can take him farther. He is a song writer, who sits around writing songs on a Flying V?? But I am not the music part of this operation, so like Eddie and the kitchen (and the laundry) I stay out of it. For better or for worse- even though I am right, I've gotta let him be Santa too.

Oh Christmas tree

Yesterday we set out to get out tree.  It was about damn time.

We had actually planned on getting it when Eddie was with us, but with our delightful holiday traffic, we were a day behind and just did not make it work. Somehow putting our pajamas on and watching a movie seemed like it made more sense, and it did. It always does, but then I get left holding the tree... er, um bag or whatever that saying is.

There are a lot of things that families do that we do minus Eddie. This is part of the deal. It bothers me on the very bottom tier of things, I mean, it sucks not having my husband there at the tree lot, or the first day of school. It's hard to go to friends dinner and birthday parties alone- but this is your life Charlie Brown!! I'm into it. I do difficult. That's just what suits me, it's the straw I chose. I'm not complaining. I am just spreading the word to all the sons and daughters out there. Rock n roll is (when it's your real life) more complex than you'd think.

So with my boeuf bourguignon in the oven, one toddler in the stroller, one dog on a leash and my son by my side, we set out to get that tree. 

You may be wondering why we are walking a dog and pushing a stroller if we are in fact going to get a Christmas tree. No we don't get it delivered, we walk that sucker back to our house.

It was freezing outside and somehow perfect. It wasn't raining and in Seattle, you consider yourself lucky when it's not. I would have appreciated some snow though.

Our tree lot is pretty close, it's about 7 blocks away, we have gone there for 10 years now. I can't imagine getting our tree elsewhere, it's like our thing. We shop for produce there year round and the trees are fantastic. Although we do things a little differently. We don't go for the the huge, full beautiful tree. We do the opposite. Quattro's idea. He wants the tree that most likely will not sell and every year we get just that. This year was no exception, our tree has two tops, the base is split in the middle and comes up with two arms- it is the horned hand. Sold!

It's all in the name.

I have always loved naming my pets, making up new names for myself, stuff like that. When I was young, we moved a lot, so when we got to a new place, sometimes I would introduce myself as someone I was not... My name is not super special, although my middle name is more me, Summer.

Anyway, I guess, as an adult, when naming my kids I just took the gloves off. We got a LOT of flack from nameless folk about our daughters name, which oddly enough didn't bother me. There was one person that offended me personally and we are related so it was not a deal breaker. 

In all honesty, it did bother me and although I am way past it, I will not be sharing the name of our new babe until he/she is born. Not with anyone. It sucks.

Eddie had a relative that was a real a-hole about the name too- so he is the other reason we will not be sharing. He told Eddie she would "hate" us. That was a deal breaker. We both just had to chalk it up to opinions are like assholes... and this one has and is one.

So ya, this time we won't get to share and that is hard for me. I am really into spreading good news and I am no good at secrets but when you are carrying a child, there are sensitivity buttons hidden all over you. You don't know they are there half the time and they just get pushed and it sucks. it's hard to keep your cool sometimes and I am a control freak. I like to be in control, I like to know what to say and what to do. I am not a know it all, I just like to have control of myself and when someone pushes my buttons, when I'm not pregnant, I can always handle it and when I'm with child... seems like it 60/40 and I don't like those odds.

I love my daughters name. As she gets older and more of her personality shows, she is SO her name. "Elvis" was a name my son thought of. He just said it, sitting in the back of the car. It was before we knew she was a girl, we were driving around and talking names and he said "what about Elvis?" and I said "well not for a boy but I kinda like it for a girl"- and that was that. There were other names in the running, but when we found out she was a girl, it just stuck. "Glo", is for my Grandmother, her name is Gloria. She is one of my all time favorite people in the world, I just sat next to her at Thanksgiving.

"Danger" is a name that I have loved since I was a teenager. It was the name of a character in a book and I have loved it since. 

So there's that. That's the story behind her name. I love it and I hope I can do something just as well for my next baby. My son has a family name, he goes by Quattro because we didn't know what to actually call him. Edward Carlyle Daly IV is a big name for a little guy and Eddie is my husband and Ed is his Dad... Edward seemed too old for a baby. While I was in the final few months of my pregnancy my good friend said "what about 'Quattro'?" and that was that. We are actually thinking about getting it put before "Edward" on his birth certificate so it will be legal. it is him, he is "Quattro" and I am 100% sure he will never go by anything else.

So what will No. 3 be called? What will it be? It's hard to come in behind a Quattro and Elvis- it's going to have to be good.

We are taking suggestions, but you won't get a shout out in the liner notes.