Christmas presents. To give or not to give. That is the MFing question.

Every year I promise to not spend a fortune. I tell myself that it isn't important that I get my Mother something amazing, or my son everything on his list, but it does seem as though... I just might forget about all of that and then I am starring down the end of a very long list of things I have purchased.

Not this year.

I am sick of over indulging my children, who have everything. We don't have one of those houses with 14 bins of legos and we don't have 17 dolls or 250 Littlest Pet Shop animals but we are fortunate. I like to get rid of stuff, like toys that are never used and stuffed animals, in general (because they are disgusting) but the kids have stuff. They need for not.

I understand it is Christmas and the "rule" is, it's time to get presents. I don't care where it all came from. I do not go to church, I do not teach my children the religious side of the holidays, at all. I think it is all made up (like religion in general) and we just go with it.

But when and how do you draw the line? I'm perplexed. 

I remember when I was 8 years old, my Mother told me it was the last year Santa would come visit us. There was an adult argument going on at the time, but I remember it like it was yesterday. This will not happen in my house. Santa will come here until I am dead. I am fucking Santa!

One year I bought my son so many presents, when I was putting them all under the tree, I actually put some back into my closet. I was smothering him. Even though he would have loved it, I had to restrain. I couldn't drown him in gifts, I just couldn't. It was not borderline ridiculous, it was fucking insane.

Since my daughter has come along it has been, ahem, easier to draw the line. There are two kids- there are two stockings... you get the idea. I am not living out of my car but I do shop for things on sale. I have to be careful and even more so with a third on the way.

Say your child wants a few things and then one super expensive gift... what do you do?

One year he wanted a bike and a drum kit. We thought that sounded easy enough. So after Eddie's Mom spent $300 on the bike (Electra!) we dropped around $500 for the drum set. Well, I didn't but Eddie did. He handled the "deal" and when I heard how much it was, I was shocked, I immediately wanted nothing for Christmas. $500! Insanity.

This year it's a Flying V. They aren't much cheaper. My fear is it will get played about as much as the drum kit that has taken up the better part of my basement for the last 6 years. The kid plays guitar but I think a Flying V is... ridiculous. There, I said it. I think he should get an acoustic, seems more simple and can take him farther. He is a song writer, who sits around writing songs on a Flying V?? But I am not the music part of this operation, so like Eddie and the kitchen (and the laundry) I stay out of it. For better or for worse- even though I am right, I've gotta let him be Santa too.