From Teen Mom to Kelle Hampton and all the bitches that hate

Sitting down tonight I am thinking too much about other peoples lives. I guess it is fitting because my life is so up in the air right now. Well, not really, there is just so much change coming down the pike, there is a lot going down, so I am spending some much needed "me" time doing what society does best- judging other people!

I'm more observing. I realize everyone is trying to do their best and find their way (to where?) but I can't help but be sad at all the hate.

And mad! I'm mad at all the hate. These faceless people would never walk up to you and speak their mind (because they are totally whack shit crazy) but that's not cool. If you can't say it to my face, or better yet, behind my back (where I am none the wiser) why, why, WHY would you do it at all?

In my quest to find information about growing my blog audience, I ran across all kinds of stuff. I was looking for Mommys, bloggers, designers, you name it, I was reading about it.

I heard about Kelle Hampton a while ago. I read her story and I see her photos on IG but I had no idea how many people hate her. They call themselves "Kelle Haters". It's really scary. The way they judge not only her parenting and decision to share with the world her daughter Nella (who has downs syndrome) but they are judging what she does for a living. They are judging the clothing she puts on her kids, the fact that she posts pictures of them... it's barbaric. They don't like the way she speaks about her daughters using the word "sister" and they hate how she says "rock"... I don't like little kid shirts that say "Princess" OR "Rock n roll" but can you imagine the insanity if I got on other Mom blogs and told them how dumb they are for putting their kids in shirts that say such generic things?? Cray-zay.

The things I read on her blog and in comments were SO mean. They were over the line and I just don't understand it. I don't understand why they would pick this woman, why her? She was a blogger that wrote a book and is living a seemingly beautiful life and they tear her down. The gross part is they are on her site and the trolls find each other and then blow up the comments so anyone who is writing to thank Kelle or share an experience... well, don't bother. I can't imagine she scrolls through all that garbage to find the good. My guess is she has the good right next to her, in the form of her husband, her daughters and her new baby son.

I hope she doesn't read it. I hope she doesn't listen to the crap, it could not be any less important.

But I have to wonder, why? Why do we find it our business to do that to someone. Who gave us the power to decide it is okay to take this person and say things you wouldn't ever want said about you?
I can't imagine she would ever take back the fact that her daughter has DS. I can't say she would trade her for a "healthy" child. I don't know that. It's not something you ask for or plan for but when it is laying in your lap... I can't imagine you would want anyone else.

  I feel the same way about the Teen Moms. I don't know what person in their right mind would wish this life on a teenager, but once they are there- why do we hate them? Why are people out there creating blogs and websites to show the hate for them? They are screwed! Lets face it, (and laugh a teenie tiny bit at the pun) they have a hard enough life (most of them seemingly in very dysfunctional relationships with their BF/GF and their parents. Most of the parents had them as teenagers... it's an apple and a tree people...

But I worry. I know that my child, who is not a teenager yet and hopefully NEVER a teen parent, would be heartbroken to read crap about him online (that is why he doesn't have a FB or a Kik or a Ask page- that is for another post. If your child has an Ask or a Kik, get rid of that shit). He is sensitive and maybe more than a lot of them but if he were reading some of the things that people say about these Teen Moms, he would be suicidal. They take no consideration that these kids are KIDS! And the Mom's they are all dealing with Baby blues and postpartum depression... I can't imagine the equivalent of hate mail by the thousands. After I had Zeke, if someone told me I looked "tired" (aka your look like shit) I would have backhanded them or cried for 3 hours).

Children having children is not new. We have been having sex and getting pregnant for a loooooong time. These kids do not lead glamorous lives (although I have sickly thought about the show that mixes "My Super Sweet 16" with "Teen Mom" like have the first show and then 9 months later...
Anyway, why we gotta be so mean?

Maybe I am getting soft in my old age. Maybe I need to get a real job? Maybe I need to council kids? OR maybe we should put into action my "fixed at birth" plan. Let stop circumcising (which does nothing for the kids health) and start tying testicles? Why not? If you had to be prepared and wanting a child, wouldn't that make it much easier? When you are, whatever age, and you could afford to untie your balls because you and whomever wanted to have a child, then make an appointment. Am I right?
I would say tie the tubes but we go through enough and let's face it the guy has absolutely no physical part in anything except the deed. This would not only keep unwanted pregnancies from happening, you would have to be financially ready (kids are expensive, kids!) BUT it would even the score... a little.

Ahhh... you're welcome. And good morning.

The zoo is wild.

First, I am not sure what the fuckity-fuck-fuck is going on with my blog but I can't seem to reply to anyone today. So luna, this is for you-

I'm feeling "okay". I do feel like I can find myself one some days or part of some days but for the majority of the time I am faking it. And I guess that will have to do. More than anything I am having anxiety like I never had before, which is strange. Maybe if I did have it before I was "normal" enough to combat it naturally and now that I am... abnormal? it's not so easy. So how do we Mom's get together with other Mom's without seeming ridiculous? I don't understand why it is SO hard.

Speaking of that. Today I was at the zoo (again!? might as well use that membership) and as soon as I walked in, with just Elvis and the baby I see a gal, my age, with an infant and a, roughly, 3 year old. I was laughing because she is the type of chick I would see and wonder if I was going to be brave enough to talk to or whatever and today I didn't really care and then I immediately thought it was so lame of me and THAT is probably why it is so hard to reach out. Lets face it, it is a little creepy. "Hi, I see you have some kids there. Want to hang out?". It's odd and we as Mothers are guarded enough and to get approached by a freak like me, I can just imagine it doesn't go over so well.
I have seen Moms talking to my daughter (who is ridiculously charming and easy on the eyes) and when I walk up they just walk away. I must scare them. They do not think I am as normal as them. And it's not even about the tattoos or the pink hair- it's a "thing" I have always had. My Mom always told me I was "different" a word I despised most of my life but now, I don't know, I kinda get it. I am different and we ALL are, in different ways.
If we are being honest here, (and let's just assume I would never lie to you) sometimes I will see a Mom and just judge them. Think they are stuck up or complete... nerds? I don't know what the equivalent to that is now that we are adults. But you know. Like their outfits are just like... "what?" and I'm like "huh?". I judge and I shouldn't. We are all leper's to someone and I am just feeding the enemy that is shameful. There's an invisible line that we can't seem to get across. It would be easier if we could just decide if we like the kids and accept the parents. Because really, if you can't take the kids- you aren't going to want to have weekly play dates, or whatever we are supposed to call them. I hate that term, it's like- lets cut the shit and just get together, ok? Ok.
God, I sound super bitchy tonight and I'm not. I am just tired of the loop hole. I'm tired of trying to figure out how to get together- again. Maybe I should start a FB page, "Babies in Ballard"...

I feel like I need to touch on my PPD a little. And that is a WEIRD thought, that someone out there cares but evidently they do and I am all about that. Lets face it. Anyone who has a blog is a narcissist and if they try to pretend they aren't, even in the slightest way- they are lying.
I like to write about my life because I think, sometimes, it is interesting, it's.. different. And I am aware that I am married to someone who has made a name for himself and I like to let those who want to know, a little about his world. I don't think I need to write about him a ton, this ain't his blog! but I do enjoy letting people know how things go down for the Daly's... errr, I mean the Spaghetti's.
Anyway... so I saw my doctor, my regular guy and he put me on Zoloft. I wasn't even the least bit hesitant to take it as I was pretty desperate. I guess it takes like a month to "kick in" and that is fine, I'm into it. I was not happy. Although getting the shit sort of felt like I was asking for bath salts, I do think that this guy cares. What sucks now is that I am plagued with anxiety. I am having these bouts of it where I feel nearly paralyzed with fear. Fear of something happening to, usually only, Elvis. Which is weird, you would think that it would be the baby. But it's not. I am terrified of something happening to her. Like I am going to get distracted and something terrible will happen. I was stopped in traffic in the tunnel last week and my mind gave me a flash of disaster and I could not decide who to leave if I had to leave one. If I could only take one out of their car seat... who would it be? Shit! See, I am totally twisted. I also have fear that when my husband is with our kids alone he will miss something and someone will get hurt and in my mind, when I think this stuff, it is always her.
Here's the thing. Nothing ever happens on my watch. I am the hawk that won't give up. I have a "Mom-dar" like no other. I once ran down the hallway of my old house and caught Quattro as he was rolling off the bed. I can hear the kids at their first, tiniest whimper when they wake up, I can feel them. I always know when they are sick, about 12 hours before they get sick. I can see it in their eyes and smell it on their breath. It's weird and sometimes a burden but it is this thing that I have and I am now full of doubt. I am feeling, not overwhelmed in the sense of "I can't do this" but I am doubting my focus. My ability to finish things is off as well. I am picking up and leaving off in an abnormal manner for me.... and I don't know, for the most part it is just a drag. I just want it to be over. I don't want to have to take anything, I just want to get through this crap and be myself.

She didn't call.

Or email, or whatever.
So here's to not caring that I probably seemed really weird and a little desperate, giving a stranger with a baby my information.
There has GOT to be a better way. I guess it is a little like dating, I just have to keep going to the "bar" or the produce section of the market... whatever the equivalent is... parks, or (gasp!) Gymboree??! Never. I may look desperate but I am not.
You would think by now with having 3 kids, it wouldn't be so hard to meet parents on the same page. I do have friends and some really great ones, but I still pine away at that friendship a lot of my friends have with their best friend, which is something I may have never truly had. The one that will come over when you are sick and call you for lunch when they are in the neighborhood.
When I was a kid we moved around a lot. Then when we settled down in AZ, we lived out in the country, pretending to be hillbillies I guess. So growing up it wasn't hard to make friends, it was hard to keep them.
As a teenager I was in so much trouble I had too many friends, all but a few, really bad news.
Then I moved around some more, becoming an adult and when I found myself smitten with my now husband of nearly 13 years, I traveled non-stop for the better part of 8 years. So really I didn't settle down but 4 years ago.... I guess that is why I missed out on my bf- they are all taken! Ha. I am not as sad as I sound, it is just nice to put it all together like that. I'm a nomad. WTF?