Too much, too little.

I just spent the last week with my sister and her family. It was the first time they had come up here in over a decade. Just saying that makes me go "WOW!". It's been a long time.
We had a great week. The kids played, with her two and my three- we had it all covered. Games, art, movies, sleepovers, fire camps and lazy days at the beach. It was what every vacation should be but like every vacation it went by so fast.

It's funny when you spend time with someone. It doesn't matter who. When you spend a long enough time with anyone, especially when you share the same blood, you learn new things about yourself. And them.

It was like a psych experiment. I mean that in a good way. I am the type of person who is fascinated about life and personalities, for real. What makes people tick, what makes them quirky and fun. What makes them amazing. What makes them suck.

Spending this time with my sister was probably the most one on one time I have had with her since we lived together. I moved out of my Mother's house in 1994. No shit. It's been awhile.
She may have even moved out before that. So to say the very least, we needed it. We are sisters, we needed to spend time together, to get to know each other as adults, although I think no matter how old the little sister gets, she will always be seen as an annoying child. I get that a lot.

So the "experiment" left me thinking that I A. her kids are exactly like her and my kids are exactly like me. Our apples didn't even roll. They are sitting on the base of our roots.
And B. how did her and I, as "apples", come off of the same tree?
I still can't figure it out.

It's cool though, we are both good people. We both have great families and we are doing what we do. We are doing what makes us happy and we are living the lives that we have built, so there is no harm in one of us being the rogue apple. It was most likely me, it is just quite a trip to see it out in front of you. Like we are both hilarious, so we have that in common, but that is kinda it.

But I feel I enjoy the differences we have. Same with my friends and I and my husband. Him and I are not alike at all. People assume we are because we both can live out of a suitcase and we like to wear jeans and travel but the similarities diminish greatly from there. Like with my sister, I find it interesting how we can cohabitate for so long and yet be so differently.

A lot of people only find solace or interest in people like themselves- that in and of itself is a psych experiment, one I don't really get behind. You just don't learn enough being with someone who is just like you. I think with our children, hers like her and mine like me are that way so they can go out into the word and become themselves, so they don't count on the above statement.

What does count is this. I think a lot of people bring a burden to the scene when they come across someone different. They decide that they are better (or worse) worse than the other person! That is the worst! I think we all need to just realize that we are different for a reason, it is not for a cloak of "I'm better than you" it is not for a target on our backs. We are different because we are human and that is something we are lucky enough to be, when we are here.

Seeing my children and her children play and love each other, all the while being polar opposites gave me a lot of hope for the world and also made me wish we lived a whole lot closer.

RIP Banjo.

When you get sick of it all,

shut up.

Seriously, just shut up already.
I should take my own advice I guess, but what fun would that be?

Seems like every few months a bunch of people get sick of it all. Like of everything.
Meaning, your comments, your pictures, your parenting style and what you had for dinner. Your desire to take a FB quiz because you want to know what kind of wild animal you would be, or which character on Friends you would most likely marry. They don't even want to see your face anymore. Didn't you hear? Selfies are out this month.

I guess it is all part of it. Part of social media. It's social, says it right there in the title and we all get sick of our friends in real life, so being that this is a media version means you too are getting sick of them and their shit.

But why tell them? Honestly, I feel like it is the lamest form of complaining. Being a social shamer by going on a rant about how lame it is to have 25 pictures uploaded of a cat or because someone wants to write about what they ate, how far they ran, is the equivalent of yelling at someone as you pass them on the road. It's just dumb and a complete negative to society.

We are all haters. Like me, right now. At this very minute I am hating all over the haters of social media. Recently I read an quiz, however funny it was, about how to tell how annoying you are on FB. Funny thing was you had to take the quiz to find out but in the fucking thing said you were lame because you take quizes! Like... you can't win!

I would tell you when I think you are being lame, if I gave two shits. Usually I just stop coming around and for the most part when people stop coming around me, I assume they are thinking the same about and that is A-OK. I am perfectly fine with that.

I just wonder why it happens so incessantly? Like why all of the sudden does it seem like people are coming out of the woodwork to complain? When I answer the phone and the voice on the other end starts complaining, I completely glaze over and wish I wouldn't have picked up. Not that I can't be a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen but sometimes it is just too much.

My gut tells me the windfall of complaints flooding my FB wall is as simple as this-
people are sheep. When they read a complaint, even if quasi comical, "enough pictures of your kids already!", that person then takes the lead and vents their frustration or maybe targets someone who is on their nerves. They take the false security that the internet gives you and they lay into something or worse, someone.

 Just stop it. Get over yourselves. Whatever happened to talking about people behind their backs? Were you not raised right? All the passive aggressive shit online is gross and annoying and it makes me stay away... maybe that is how it should be. Maybe some of us take the hint and we just stop going back to the thing that annoys us... maybe.

I like social media. I don't like this part but I like hearing my friend Jonna get excited when her hockey team wins or when Danny shares a disgusting picture or when Jenn runs 6 miles. I like that. I even like when some friends take 20 selfies, I think it is silly and sweet and if that makes them feel good, I am not going to make fun of them on their FB wall. There are plenty of people that post things that are annoying, abrasive political rants or putting their partner on blast and you want to know what I do? I just click a button and it's gone.

www.kickme.com

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From Teen Mom to Kelle Hampton and all the bitches that hate

Sitting down tonight I am thinking too much about other peoples lives. I guess it is fitting because my life is so up in the air right now. Well, not really, there is just so much change coming down the pike, there is a lot going down, so I am spending some much needed "me" time doing what society does best- judging other people!

I'm more observing. I realize everyone is trying to do their best and find their way (to where?) but I can't help but be sad at all the hate.

And mad! I'm mad at all the hate. These faceless people would never walk up to you and speak their mind (because they are totally whack shit crazy) but that's not cool. If you can't say it to my face, or better yet, behind my back (where I am none the wiser) why, why, WHY would you do it at all?

In my quest to find information about growing my blog audience, I ran across all kinds of stuff. I was looking for Mommys, bloggers, designers, you name it, I was reading about it.

I heard about Kelle Hampton a while ago. I read her story and I see her photos on IG but I had no idea how many people hate her. They call themselves "Kelle Haters". It's really scary. The way they judge not only her parenting and decision to share with the world her daughter Nella (who has downs syndrome) but they are judging what she does for a living. They are judging the clothing she puts on her kids, the fact that she posts pictures of them... it's barbaric. They don't like the way she speaks about her daughters using the word "sister" and they hate how she says "rock"... I don't like little kid shirts that say "Princess" OR "Rock n roll" but can you imagine the insanity if I got on other Mom blogs and told them how dumb they are for putting their kids in shirts that say such generic things?? Cray-zay.

The things I read on her blog and in comments were SO mean. They were over the line and I just don't understand it. I don't understand why they would pick this woman, why her? She was a blogger that wrote a book and is living a seemingly beautiful life and they tear her down. The gross part is they are on her site and the trolls find each other and then blow up the comments so anyone who is writing to thank Kelle or share an experience... well, don't bother. I can't imagine she scrolls through all that garbage to find the good. My guess is she has the good right next to her, in the form of her husband, her daughters and her new baby son.

I hope she doesn't read it. I hope she doesn't listen to the crap, it could not be any less important.

But I have to wonder, why? Why do we find it our business to do that to someone. Who gave us the power to decide it is okay to take this person and say things you wouldn't ever want said about you?
I can't imagine she would ever take back the fact that her daughter has DS. I can't say she would trade her for a "healthy" child. I don't know that. It's not something you ask for or plan for but when it is laying in your lap... I can't imagine you would want anyone else.

  I feel the same way about the Teen Moms. I don't know what person in their right mind would wish this life on a teenager, but once they are there- why do we hate them? Why are people out there creating blogs and websites to show the hate for them? They are screwed! Lets face it, (and laugh a teenie tiny bit at the pun) they have a hard enough life (most of them seemingly in very dysfunctional relationships with their BF/GF and their parents. Most of the parents had them as teenagers... it's an apple and a tree people...

But I worry. I know that my child, who is not a teenager yet and hopefully NEVER a teen parent, would be heartbroken to read crap about him online (that is why he doesn't have a FB or a Kik or a Ask page- that is for another post. If your child has an Ask or a Kik, get rid of that shit). He is sensitive and maybe more than a lot of them but if he were reading some of the things that people say about these Teen Moms, he would be suicidal. They take no consideration that these kids are KIDS! And the Mom's they are all dealing with Baby blues and postpartum depression... I can't imagine the equivalent of hate mail by the thousands. After I had Zeke, if someone told me I looked "tired" (aka your look like shit) I would have backhanded them or cried for 3 hours).

Children having children is not new. We have been having sex and getting pregnant for a loooooong time. These kids do not lead glamorous lives (although I have sickly thought about the show that mixes "My Super Sweet 16" with "Teen Mom" like have the first show and then 9 months later...
Anyway, why we gotta be so mean?

Maybe I am getting soft in my old age. Maybe I need to get a real job? Maybe I need to council kids? OR maybe we should put into action my "fixed at birth" plan. Let stop circumcising (which does nothing for the kids health) and start tying testicles? Why not? If you had to be prepared and wanting a child, wouldn't that make it much easier? When you are, whatever age, and you could afford to untie your balls because you and whomever wanted to have a child, then make an appointment. Am I right?
I would say tie the tubes but we go through enough and let's face it the guy has absolutely no physical part in anything except the deed. This would not only keep unwanted pregnancies from happening, you would have to be financially ready (kids are expensive, kids!) BUT it would even the score... a little.

Ahhh... you're welcome. And good morning.

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