Thursday, April 24, 2014

Break it up and break it down.

So on our last podcast Eddie and I talked about the infidelity of Tori Spellings husband.
I stick by what I said, I think it is insane what he did, but you know, I realize it happens all the time.
I wanted to elaborate on it, I feel like if you are going to publicly talk about someone's life, you should... I don't know, to say "be fair" is silly. Life isn't fair but I feel like I should be clear.

Watching the show was so hard. It was... awful.
I felt bad for her, I even felt bad for him but the kids, oh how my heart ached for them.
I am sure hers does too.

They have 4 kids together and like 7 years (seven year itch is REAL people!)
not giving it your best shot to repair would be such a waste, in my eyes, but how you would ever be able to look that fucker in the eyes is beyond me.

Lets be straight. I would have a really hard time forgiving my husband if he cheated.
If this was my life, I can't say whether I would just up and leave him or not. I don't know if he would be able to throw it all away if I cheated. I don't know if he would want to be with me either and I think that is the reason we don't cheat. We like where things are, how they were and where they are going. If one of us strayed, we have no idea how it would change us and knowing it could mean everything we have worked for (I think we can all agree that being married is work) could quite possibly just POOF! be gone.

The thought fucking scares me.

I understand the getting bored and not having enough sex. My husband is gone all the time. It is not easy to be in this kind of sexless marriage either, there are times when both of us just want to meet somewhere in the middle and bang it out and move on but it's not realistic all the time. There are a lot of people that lay in bed every night and don't have sex but we can't have it because we are thousands of miles apart. But our marriage didn' start out as just sex. I think a lot of relationships do. Not to say we didn't have a lot more of it but we were instantly connected to each others lives. Like we wanted to take the ride together. We wanted to see what we could do, together. We had our troubles, in the beginning, the middle and the end I imagine, we will still be trying to be good and stay true to ourselves and each other. There is no coasting. Coasting is for single people. Did you hear that? Want to coast? Stay single! Seriously, if you don't want to work at a relationship for the duration, don't do it.
See, that is something no one tells you. You're welcome.

We had our 7 year itch. I will admit it. We spent a lot of months (years?) trying to find our way back and even still truly have to stay "ahead of it", like Eddie said in the podcast.
There was no cheating but the itch has many different faces. I think it finds every marriage in some way shape or form. I would tell you all about ours right now but this way, you will really want to read my book.

Back to Tori.
Seeing the preview for this show, I was immediately into it. I am a reality TV junkie. Yes, I know it is not reality but this shit just got real. Real, real. I had heard about their trouble and didn't really follow it, I do have a life, but the show, I can get down with that. And usually the juicer the better. Usually the fighting and crying and screaming gets me excited. My life lacks none of this, mind you, but it's good TV. But somehow this just didn't make for good TV.

Will I continue to watch? Yes, because I am rooting for them but it is really not pleasant.

Why do men (and yes, I realize women do it too) choose the time they do to do something like this? He was working and everything seemed to be going well. They had a really rough time when their 4th child was born but everyone lives, everyone is healthy and he decides to screw someone?
I just can't wrap my brain around it.
And ya, drinking makes it easier to make mistakes. Even I know that but this isn't a mistake, it is a fucking world crusher. It is the end all be all. It is you putting your dick where it doesn't belong.

Mistakes are breaking something, forgetting the groceries, forgetting to call. Mistakes are (even though I hate the word) something you can say "I'm sorry" for. You can't "I'm sorry" your penis out of a rogue vagina. You just can't.

If I ever decided to have sex with someone (and Deans bitch stayed at his hotel for 2 days!!) you better believe, "mistake" or not, I am very aware that I just tossed my life away. And that simply will not happen.

So where do they go from here?
Counseling (which in front of a camera is just... I can't.. it's not...).
First of all, they will meet with a counselor who will not keep their end of the bargain. These people are supposed to be confidential. Does that make them crooked? I should ask Dr. Drew. It seems once you open your practice and expertise out to the world, it would degrade it somehow. How do I know someone isn't hamming it up? How do I know you aren't giving extreme advice to make for good TV?

Here's what I think.
I think they worked through their mess and decided to stay together, be stronger than ever and are capitalizing on that. I think we are seeing real, true life but one that already has a finale. My guess is that they signed something that said "if this shit ends bad, we aren't airing it".. I don't know if they can even do that but it is hard for me to believe these seemingly smart, kind, loving parents of 4 would put on TV their families demise for their kids to watch reruns of.

"Hey kids, grab the popcorn and turn on channel 51. The end of our perfect life is on again."

These stars are worried about the paps selling pictures of their kids in front of their school or in Duane Reade eating candy but they will collect a stack of cash for the suicidal ending of their families happiness.


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