Sunday, June 23, 2013

New stuff going up all the time!!

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Sell out.

So it's been a teeny bit of time since my shop on Etsy has gone up and I feel as though I have hit a huge milestone.
I'd like to preface this whole thing by saying, someone like me (getting married so young and having a baby straight out of the gate) didn't really think there were a lot of milestones left. I was not a career woman, by choice, I was not going to get divorced and I am the type of person who lives and achieves- not achieves to live.

Anyway, hitting the entrepreneur page of my life was a long time coming, even though I never really believed in it. I believed in myself, just not "it". Like, I didn't believe I would give the time needed to get things going for myself, my "career". I find I smirk when I say that... it's troubling kind of.
I feel like my thinking was you would get old, divorced and hate your job. Like that was it. You would have a 401k (what?) and an pension and you would work your ass off for someone or something and go to work every day, 5 days, 50 hours a week and then you would miss everything for 30+ years, retire and then look around and go... "shit.".

I am not blaming or faulting anyone. I grew up with people that had good work ethic. My sister had a job since she was like 15. She wanted to work immediately. Before she was out of high school. She knew she would be independent and I am guessing financial freedom was top of the list for anyone...
but me. I just wanted freedom.

A lot of people work 9-5 and have a lovely life, so calm your shit down.

I am not saying I have shitty work ethic. Well... okay, I probably do. If I don't "get it" like as in, "to get something out of this (shit that we are doing)" I am just not interested. So I think that means I have a terrible work ethic, this would probably be how people from my youth classify me.
People from my youth meaning people who aren't around me now on a somewhat regular basis. Everyone now knows my work as raising kids and to that they would all tell you I am the hardest working bitch in the business.

SO... anyway-
I grew up with a messed up skew on things. I thought you worked for someone and got old and then regretted how things went down. That is America, right?


After meeting my husband I was brought into this world of people doing (for a fucking living!) what they actually (get this) WANTED to do. Seriously? Wait. What?

Yeah, they grew up, graduated (maybe) high school, some went to University and do, for money, what makes them happy.
It's like a goddamn revelation.

So it took me a very long time how to figure out what I wanted to do, that would not only make me happy but make me money.
I have done a lot of writing over the years. I have written and had a song (or two) produced. It makes me money and that is a very good thing. But I am not completely fulfilled. I feel like a Disney star- I am a writer but I want MORE! I want to act, direct, rap, be a burnout- have a clothing line...
Ah ha!
A clothing line.
That's it.
Well, kinda.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Slow it down.

Last year, at about this time, I was climbing into bed. Well, I was attempting to do so. I was spending my last pregnant night at home, at around 6 a.m. I was going to be leaving my house and walking to the hospital to have Zeke.
Eddie and I decided to walk because we have such a great neighborhood and thought it would be a good story to tell him when he was older. Although I knew time would go fast, I have never been witness to time flying quite like this.
My little boy is turning 1, in like 9 minutes. Well technically tomorrow morning, but still. He is 1.
I laid him in bed tonight and just looked at him. He starred at me for a minute and I was just about to tear up and he shook his head "no". It was weird and made me not want to cry anymore because... well, because it was sort of creepy.
Anyway, laying him down I was just thinking about how that is probably the last time I will lay an 11 month old down. Well, one that is mine anyway. I remember laying him in his crib for the first time. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed that afternoon and just watching him sleep. I remember being overwhelmed with the amount of love and responsibility I had because unlike the other times, I finally realized how great it all was. I know now that I am doing this- this is what I am doing. I am a Mom.
Oh god, I'm a MOM! 3 times over but still, I am a Mother, it is in my blood, runs through my veins, sweats out of my pores and weighs heavy on my heart.
Zeke you are absolutely amazing. You light up a room and fill the air with loud squeals and laughter. You are smart and although it is a little strange the amount of things you seem to know already, I appreciate everything about you. The looks you give me that remind me of my late Grandfather, give me chills and fill me with so much happiness. It is no accident that we named you after him, Ole, you are going to grow up and have the essence of him like no one else could... I like to think he left us a week to the day of you being born, just to make sure you didn't get lost.
He's like that.
Happy birthday Zeke Ole Wild. You are going to have a shotload of fun in this life.

Sunday, June 9, 2013


I'm still not sure if I'm cut out for an online shop. I am my own worst enemy, perhaps I feel the need to keep my stuff on the DL (meaning give it away) so I don't explode into this huge business and have no time to raise kids, get all caught up, start taking drugs to stay awake to fill all the orders... I'm kidding! I've been watching way too much Breaking Bad. Again! I'm re-watchingthe entire thing so I will be ready when the new season comes out.
Anyway, so I've opened shop. I'm selling some stuff and we will see how it goes.
If you are reading this please feel free to share my link
If you have a store and would like to inquire about ordering some of my stock message me here and I will send you my email. Truth be told, that is my goal. To have my stuff in a store, eventually, maybe one day that store will be my very own.
Come check me out. Post my link, spread it around like a bad case of HPV. That is so gross... Time for bed.