Saturday, June 22, 2013

Sell out.

So it's been a teeny bit of time since my shop on Etsy has gone up and I feel as though I have hit a huge milestone.
I'd like to preface this whole thing by saying, someone like me (getting married so young and having a baby straight out of the gate) didn't really think there were a lot of milestones left. I was not a career woman, by choice, I was not going to get divorced and I am the type of person who lives and achieves- not achieves to live.

Anyway, hitting the entrepreneur page of my life was a long time coming, even though I never really believed in it. I believed in myself, just not "it". Like, I didn't believe I would give the time needed to get things going for myself, my "career". I find I smirk when I say that... it's troubling kind of.
I feel like my thinking was you would get old, divorced and hate your job. Like that was it. You would have a 401k (what?) and an pension and you would work your ass off for someone or something and go to work every day, 5 days, 50 hours a week and then you would miss everything for 30+ years, retire and then look around and go... "shit.".

I am not blaming or faulting anyone. I grew up with people that had good work ethic. My sister had a job since she was like 15. She wanted to work immediately. Before she was out of high school. She knew she would be independent and I am guessing financial freedom was top of the list for anyone...
but me. I just wanted freedom.

A lot of people work 9-5 and have a lovely life, so calm your shit down.

I am not saying I have shitty work ethic. Well... okay, I probably do. If I don't "get it" like as in, "to get something out of this (shit that we are doing)" I am just not interested. So I think that means I have a terrible work ethic, this would probably be how people from my youth classify me.
People from my youth meaning people who aren't around me now on a somewhat regular basis. Everyone now knows my work as raising kids and to that they would all tell you I am the hardest working bitch in the business.

SO... anyway-
I grew up with a messed up skew on things. I thought you worked for someone and got old and then regretted how things went down. That is America, right?


After meeting my husband I was brought into this world of people doing (for a fucking living!) what they actually (get this) WANTED to do. Seriously? Wait. What?

Yeah, they grew up, graduated (maybe) high school, some went to University and do, for money, what makes them happy.
It's like a goddamn revelation.

So it took me a very long time how to figure out what I wanted to do, that would not only make me happy but make me money.
I have done a lot of writing over the years. I have written and had a song (or two) produced. It makes me money and that is a very good thing. But I am not completely fulfilled. I feel like a Disney star- I am a writer but I want MORE! I want to act, direct, rap, be a burnout- have a clothing line...
Ah ha!
A clothing line.
That's it.
Well, kinda.

No comments:

Post a Comment