Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Slow it down.

Last year, at about this time, I was climbing into bed. Well, I was attempting to do so. I was spending my last pregnant night at home, at around 6 a.m. I was going to be leaving my house and walking to the hospital to have Zeke.
Eddie and I decided to walk because we have such a great neighborhood and thought it would be a good story to tell him when he was older. Although I knew time would go fast, I have never been witness to time flying quite like this.
My little boy is turning 1, in like 9 minutes. Well technically tomorrow morning, but still. He is 1.
I laid him in bed tonight and just looked at him. He starred at me for a minute and I was just about to tear up and he shook his head "no". It was weird and made me not want to cry anymore because... well, because it was sort of creepy.
Anyway, laying him down I was just thinking about how that is probably the last time I will lay an 11 month old down. Well, one that is mine anyway. I remember laying him in his crib for the first time. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed that afternoon and just watching him sleep. I remember being overwhelmed with the amount of love and responsibility I had because unlike the other times, I finally realized how great it all was. I know now that I am doing this- this is what I am doing. I am a Mom.
Oh god, I'm a MOM! 3 times over but still, I am a Mother, it is in my blood, runs through my veins, sweats out of my pores and weighs heavy on my heart.
Zeke you are absolutely amazing. You light up a room and fill the air with loud squeals and laughter. You are smart and although it is a little strange the amount of things you seem to know already, I appreciate everything about you. The looks you give me that remind me of my late Grandfather, give me chills and fill me with so much happiness. It is no accident that we named you after him, Ole, you are going to grow up and have the essence of him like no one else could... I like to think he left us a week to the day of you being born, just to make sure you didn't get lost.
He's like that.
Happy birthday Zeke Ole Wild. You are going to have a shotload of fun in this life.

1 comment:

  1. Well spoken! I still look at my daughter with that very special feeling, love of course, pure love, pride, warmth, joy ... she is turning 20 yearsl old in September this year and I just love her so much and even if she's grown-up already I remember every detail of her when she was a baby, toddler, school girl, turning into a teenager ... to have a child and raise it is just the best thing in the world. I love my daughter so deeply ... it's amazing. It's the best!
    Have a great first birthday with Zeke & the whole bunch!

    Love from Berlin,
    Stefanie Kelly