Do you hear that?
Yeah, me either- but that is the sound of life happening and I am about done ignoring it.
Maybe not just yet, but soon... soon I will be done licking my wounds, and I too will join you all in the world.
I gave myself a lot of slack. I think women don't usually do that. But I did. What can I say? I'm a trail blazer, or better yet, I am really in tune with myself. That's something we get from growing up. If you're lucky.
I'm dusting off my heart and opening my mind to my new normal. Sometimes I am still back there, in the place that I wanted so very much to be in. Traveling, being with family, seeing the world. I wanted to be in that space as my kids were growing, teaching them the art of togetherness and how to make change at truck stops. The little things.
I think having kids in the big city makes you either want to never leave because well... how can you afford to? Or it makes you want to get out while you can. I did the latter. Sometimes I regret- yeah, I know everyone says "no regrets" blah blah blah, but fuck that. I have a lot of regrets. I regret the first... ehh, I'll save all of that for another day. Anyway, yeah, I have regrets and sometimes when my mind goes back to the very moment I had the idea, the moment I bought the Airstream- I think like if I had to do it over again, would I?
I guess that is the good thing about no take backs. You get to live in your choices and learn and pfffffrrrrtttt. Whatever.
Anyway, so what's next? Million dollar question.