Wednesday, January 18, 2012

"Romance reinvents itself after kids."

That's what I heard once. 
I guess I believe it. I had no reason to think that the crazy, stupid, love I had at the beginning of my marriage would last through kids or time or anything. Like a lot of couples, it was intense, in some ways it still is. 
My husband is not a romantic. He wishes he was but he's not and that is okay. I was always attracted to heavy romance, I am chocolate and flowers, seems as though I don't attract that though. I'm not sure I ever had a romantic boyfriend- I can't really remember any of them. I have been married for 100 years and thankfully- happily so.
When I got married, I figured I would end up divorced. I actually thought it was another wild thing I was doing. I was good with wild, I did wild. Divorce didn't scare me. I didn't want to be headed for failure, I just assumed I was on a wild ride and at some point it would end. He was a rock guy in a band. I was a dancer. It was way too cliche.
Don't get me wrong, I wanted to marry him, I just thought it may end up not working out. Like so many of them, like so many people told me. I didn't hope for failure but I am the kind of person that isn't surprised by failure. Like wild, I did failure too. 
12 years later and closing in on 3 kids, I realize that this marriage may just last forever. We are both shocked and amazed by that. We both feel lucky to have made it past the "hump" if you haven't gotten to yours- brace yourselves. There is a hump and it's a fucking doozy. Ours came at 7 years. So lame but we are just regular people, we are not immune to hard times. 
We made it though and maybe, just maybe that was our way of reinventing romance. 

1 comment:

  1. I'm also at 13 years happily married with 2 kids (and holding), to a musician husband and I get what you're saying. :) I really do. Every marriage that lasts has those bits where you wonder what the heck you were thinkin', but maybe (like me) you mostly got the wildness out before you started the family process, and just maybe that's the key to a successful marriage. NO regrets. <3