Errrrrrrr.....

Have you been here before?

As I walked through the market tonight, quick run before the snow hit. My son wanted hot chocolate fixin's and I wanted some wine...

anyway, we were walking down the isle and there was a guy stocking the shelves, he had a box of coffee and other stuff. My son and I are walking and turning around waiting for the little girl, 16 months, as she casually walks behind us. She is watching every move everyone makes, it's weird. 

So she stops midway through her slow trek to the end of the isle where we are patiently waiting and she sees a bag, a coffee bag that you would use to purchase bulk beans and she picks it up and walks it back to the box and puts it in. I have no idea what is in the box. So she starts up again, walking toward us and there's another bag. She picks it up and walks it back to the box and this time I walked down to see what she was doing, it was so random (at first). The box was full of these coffee bags.

How weird is that? We thought it was odd. A lot of things she'll do will really trip us out. I asked her to get me a Q tip and she came back with one. It was weird, a fluke maybe but something tells me she has been here before. And she doesn't speak, it's like she doesn't have to.

43 days...

sounds like a lot. It feels like more.

I can't decide if it is better or worse to count down the days. I always do.

Now it's a ritual of sorts, crossing off the days with my son but some nights I wish we didn't.

Because some days he is strong and some days he just misses his Daddy.

I can't down play it either because I don't want to make him feel like he shouldn't get sad, I don't want one of those men... I say "men" because that is what I'm doing, I am raising a man. He might be little but that won't always be the case. It's practically not the case now. The kid is to my chin and at 5'7" I'm not exactly short.

We were having a talk the other day about him turning 10. I said "no more single digits" and he said "yay!" then he was quiet. I think at that moment he realized that he will not be a kid forever and I was so sad to witness but am so glad I didn't miss it. The time goes so fast, I beat myself up if I miss anything. 

It was in that moment of seeing my baby, my first born realize that he too was growing up that I decided to stop with the bullshit, all of it. Every bit of bullshit I trek through, I am going to start letting it go because it just doesn't matter. I want to make sure that I am showing him how to enjoy life and I myself want to slow down and start enjoying every bit because I too will not be a kid forever...

Rutabaga and butternut

I made something really delicious last night.

I sliced the neck (after peeling) of a butternut squash and peeled and sliced some rutabaga, tossed them with a simple vinagrette with honey, thyme and pepper and baked them at 375* for about 15-20 min. I laid them on a paper towel for a minute to absorb some of the oil.

They were delicious.

Michael Lewis

Do you ever read a book and kind of get a crush on the writer?

I do. Well I did.

About a year ago, maybe more, Eddie got this book, man I can't even remember the name but it is by Michael Lewis, you know- "Moneyball" and "Blind Side" he's amazing. He is very smart.

Anyway, I have found myself thinking about him. The things he writes about, the book that my husband had, it is about him with his family, he has three kids, it's just the life of a father. But the way he writes, he is so honest, it is almost to a fault but it's not. He is fantastic. 

He is married to Tabitha "MTV" Sorren, I love that part too. 

I just thought I would start up this super stale blog by giving you something to go out and look for. Now what is the name of that book? Ahh, "Home Game" go get it.

13

13 hours