Friday, November 15, 2013

"Life isn't fair" and other bullshit we tell our kids.

Well... it's not entirely bullshit, but the fact that I have to tell that to my 12 year old, time and time again is really starting to piss me off. So I did something.

Yesterday Q came home with the tales of the day... it's usually good stuff, sprinkled with lame stuff, whether it be getting hit in the head with a water bottle, falling down the stairs or what have you- he is called a "lesbian" about every other day, this to us has taken a complimentary turn. Which is good. I am now convinced the kid is in love with him, so he needs to tell him something like this. Who else would bother with such a thing? It's okay to be a lesbian and obviously this kid has a problem...

This is not the news.

In class some friends were messing around with stamps and a girl stamped Q in the face, to which he stamped her back, in the face. She got so upset she wanted to change out of the classroom.... this is the mentality of 7th grade girls. It's sad actually. I wouldn't go back to middle school for a million dollars.

No really. I wouldn't.

To make a ridiculously long story short- one that started with laughing and ended with my son having to be late to play practice to go to the office and "apologize" to this girl.

Now I know I am a Mama bear. I know I have the tendency to be protective and yes even at times, over protective but I have always had a good sense of when I am being biased and when my son is being taken advantage of.

Ladies and gentlemen- if you have a boy, they will be treated unfairly. You should tell them now. Go ahead, I will wait..

Ya done?

I have a girl too, so don't get on your soapbox about how girl are repressed and they don't get a fair shot (read post title), I get it. I have that battle too- but today it is about the boy. The boy who will have to apologize for doing something a girl did because she can cry and we will feel sorry for her. I mean, what girl wants a stamp on their forehead? At school? Gasp! Well, why aren't we asking what boy would? Why the double standard Salmon Bay?

Okay, so I was so mad last night. I waiting 5 hours before writing the teacher and Assistant Principle. But when I did I felt good about it. I wanted them to know that I have walked with my son through a lot of injustice and I didn't think it did him a damn bit of good to have him treated so unfairly at school. They are kids! Can we not treat them like kids? Like they are always in the state of learning?
When you are a teacher and you fail to do your job, you fail the kid.

They did not ask the girl to apologize. In fact when Q offered to tell them she was stamping too, he was left with "I don't think so".
Apparently the one side was all they needed. At the end my persistent son said "I just want to know one thing, why did I get in trouble when she was doing it to?" To which they replied "I don't want to talk about it anymore.".

Ya don't? I do.

This morning I was called via speaker phone with my son, the girl and the teacher. He said "everything is fine" and I said it was not. I told him that my son was treated in a manner that the girl was not. He was held solely responsible and I thought that was wrong. And that was about it. He said he wanted everyone to "have a good Friday" and I translated that to "I don't want to get in trouble".

So we all learned. My son learned that when a girl falls down we all rush over to see if she is okay and if she is crying we make sure to take care of her. If a boy falls down, we tell him to get the hell up.

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