Friday, October 8, 2010

She's my best friend.

I have noticed, as of late (okay, as of always) that it is pretty hard to make a new friend.
Not that I don't like my friends, I do. I have plenty and they are all good ones (well, most of them) and maybe this is all I get but I can't help but notice that when I am out and meet someone interesting, that's where it ends. The meeting. Then poof! we are all on our way and most likely never to meet again.
Why is that? Why is it so weird, taboo or just plain not something that is done, to ask for a number, share email address'? Is this just me? If I were out at a bar and met someone and "clicked" I'd exchange numbers... right, isn't that what we used to do? I say "used to" because when I got out now it is usually to watch my husband play a show, I sit it in the backstage before and usually after the show, never so much as using the public bathroom. Hmm, maybe this is why it is hard for me to meet friends? I am totally my own shrink right now.
I was out with Q, baby and Eddie last week and we met this interesting couple with kids and when we parted ways I said to Eddie "man, I really wanted to ask them for their phone number but thought that might have seemed desperate. Would that have been weird?" and he says "Yes.".
Tonight we were at Top Ten Toys, and ran into this guy (with wife and three kids) we didn't speak to the wife who was busy with two of the three and anyway we chatted, he seemed cool, our babies were a week apart and then, we left... as we got in the car I said "SEE! They seemed like people we should hang out with and here we go, leaving and we'll never see them again" and to my surprise, Eddie said "I know, I almost asked for his number but I didn't because I thought it seemed weird".
So why do we feel so paralyzed? I feel this way a lot. I will see a Mom walking down the street with her stroller and her cute (brushed) hair, dresses like she means it, with a bottle hanging out of her pocket and I'll think "we should be friends" but running across the street screaming my email address seems a little crazy.
Aside from crazy though, I am going to think of a way to approach my FBFF ("future best friends forever") because, like it or not, I don't have too many friends that are in my same boat, or even sailing the same sea as me. I am 34, married with two kids with more in my future. I am completely normal, living a completely abnormal life... but aren't we all?
I'm picky, I guess. I don't want the uber anything Mom as my friend. I'm sorry, if you are on every new bandwagon, we will not get along. I don't want to make friends with people that have given up on life... hmm, this is sounding like an ad. So I should stop, or should I keep going? Ha!
When I was pregnant, I checked out the new mom websites. None of the groups seemed to fit me, they were either not in my neighborhood ("need friends, won't travel", kidding I would but these were like far) or seemed way off base in another way. But I have friends that met their BMF ("best mommy friend") at said groups... so maybe I should give that another try?
I feel like I owe it to Elvis to let her grow up with kids. Quattro grew up around adults and as much as I don't regret that at all and it made him who he is which is the most socially adjusted, radical 9 year old, we just have a different life right now. And we will for the next couple of years. We plan to stick around for the next two, then possibly pack it all up and travel with Eddie, take Q out of public school and live a different life. Until then, "hello playdates!" and continual quest for my female better half.


  1. I feel like I've been on the quest since my best friend and I "broke up" 8 to 10 years ago.

    I so get where you are coming from. I have given out my number to so many people here. I don't really think Seattle is the most friendly place I've ever been. Maybe on the surface, eh... or maybe it's me. LOL

  2. My babydaddy read this to me earlier tonight. Yeah he had to read it to me becus it was after midnight and my baby was still up...too tired to read myself...Now its 5 something am, baby's sound asleep, my man is snoring next to me, and I'm wide awake for no reason I'm aware of. Sigh. (Oop, pause to insert pacifier in fussy's mouth. How did she know I was typing about her?!) Anyway, we are Supersuckers/Eddie Spaghettti music/show appreciators and dude's been following your blogs for awhile. Having been a band girlfriend and finding the whole phenomenon of groupies, fans, etc frightening, I avoid actually 'knowing' anything about the humans who entertain me, so I make fun of the fact he knows Eddie has a wife - let alone that she like myself is a writer, but he insisted I hear this one. Basically you're singing my song, girrrl. After spending about ten months happily nesting with my baby, Gigi Sioux, it occured to me that I was starting to feel stir crazy during the day n wishing at least one of my friends was a stay @ home mom with a baby too. After a few weeks of telling myself those meetups were for people who don't have friends, I finally decided to give'm a try. I've been to a half dozen so far and what I'm finding is most of the mom's are people who I imagine were the good girls in high school - the cheerleaders, the bookish girls, the jocks, the 4H chicks...every type but the one's who snuck out, hotwired the neighbors car n drove to see the Gogo's when they were still punk rock. Where are my people?! I know they're out there. I see them cruising around the city with a lil'n in their full sleeve tatted arms. And like you I feel like hollering, "Hey, I'm not a house frump and I'm a good mom. Call me!" But yeah, no. Funny, I never had any problem picking up random guys. Anyway... Maybe you should start up your own meetup group. Or I should. I dunno. Whatta weird society. I remember seeing you at a show once. We were both pregnant. Woulda been cool to have a pregnant friend. Think I'm starting to get sleepy. Wish I were a friendlier person. Sigh. Maybe next time I'll have the guts to say hi.

  3. This was so hilarious. I am actually smiling as I read that there are girls out there like me. Maybe I will start a group, I'm inspired.
    Characi you should have totally said "hi", if we were both pregnant I 100% noticed you for sure. So shame on me for not saying hi.
    If you are on FB look me up. People ask me how I have time for bloggin and all that crap and I guess with a 13 month old (today!) I just figure that is my socializing, for the most part anyway.