Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The no birthday party, party.

With all of this talk about Christmas, I am always amazed by how quickly my sons birthday pops up. It is not as if I don't think of it all year, or again at Thanksgiving or while we are getting our Christmas tree. But suddenly, it's time! 
He will be 11 in less that 2 weeks. 
After last years 10 year extravaganza (we had a full rock show birthday bash at the beloved Sunset Tavern here in Ballard. It was amazing, I worked my ass off) and my daughters 1st birthday which was an equally impressive butterfly themed girl party... I told my husband I had to take a year off. I told everyone we had to have at least one year with no parties. I love them and I will keep doing them but September and December are close together. With Halloween in the middle and not to mention the holidays... I just knew my goose was cooked. I had family in town for Elvis' 1st, my husband wasn't even here, he was in South America (skyped during the party). My Mom was staying at our house and his Mom and boyfriend were in town for the week... it was epic and awesome and I nearly cracked. Having him gone is something I do, I get it but our fall/winter is some kind of busy. Has always been that way and it will always be that way but I had to call off the birthday parties for 2011.
And so far I have been successful. I am not anti calling off the "call off". I am okay with saying something and then doing another- this is my life, so I feel like I have that right. But when you get kids in the mix, I don't know, it's like I have to start thinking like a grown up or something and really the bottom line for me is I always feel like I am trying to raise, not kids, but grown ups. I am trying to raise a man and now a woman. That is my current order of business.
So when I make a decision that involves my kids directly, I feel it is my duty to stick to it. Again, this is not in my nature, I'm a waffler of sorts, I like options but with kids, I just get the feeling the less "waffly" I am, the better. I want them to know how to make decisions and see stuff through. It's a little ironic I am learning it all at the same time but that's cool too. See- easy, peasy!
When Elvis' 2nd birthday came along, I have to admit, it was hard to not throw a party. Even a small one. Instead I stuck to my guns, made a cake and called a friend and her kids and invited them to walk down the park that overlooks the sound and have a piece of cake with us. No presents, no party favors. Just us, the beautiful sunset and a fantastic cake. It was a very special birthday and I think that is part of it. When you cut out all the crap, you get to actually see your child on their birthday. I got to watch my kid turn 2. It was magic.
Now for some reason this birthday for my son is different. I am finding it VERY hard to keep it so basic. I just don't think I can. So does that make me rotten? Am I showing him the opposite of what I'd like? Maybe.
We are going to take him and some friends to the movies, he really wants to see "Tin Tin" and then we are going to walk down to the Sunset and have pizza. It's a little more than a park and a cake, but for him, with 10 years of fabulous birthdays under his belt- this will be the no birthday party, party.
My Mom said when my sister and I were young, we got a 5th year party and then another one at like 10 or 12. Which was fine, I am sure we loved it and they were fabulous but I am different. I can't help but give him something special, he gives me something special every day/week/month because he is so good. He is a fantastic child. He works hard, he is smart, he is funny and he really loves life. I can't help but celebrate that.

1 comment:

  1. riley's birthday is 12-16 so i know what you mean its so busy and money wise its crazy - our other son is in october but he just turned 12 - so we told them both that nine is the end of all birthday craziness and that after that it would be scaled way down - so for rileys tenth this week its a sleep over - so easy - sleeping bags, nerf guns, pizza and a late movie - cheap and you can do it solo if you have to and the other parents love you for taking their kid overnight - as for sticking to what you say and being adult - i know that feeling too sometimes i say something and just in going through with it i realize how much i dont want to do it that way - so sometimes i don't- you are allowed to change your mind and raise your kids however you want there are no rules just be happy i think being inconsistent is just as necessary to teach them how to deal once in a while - i still celebrate my birthday so i cant deny them just need to make it something i can handle and not go broke over.