Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Funny, weird, desperate, brave.

We should all just be brave.
I read that on something recently, probably products from that movie-
anyway, I like it.
Being brave is grossly underrated. People don't think about it enough.
When I sent my son to school for the very first time, I said "be brave". That was 6 years ago.
I am trying to listen to my own advice and today, I was brave.

When my son was a baby, whenever I would run into someone with a baby, I'd always want to see them again. Fantasize about being friends, meeting in the park with coffee, while our little babies slept in their strollers.
Someone to have barf on your shoulders with, someone wearing a 3 day old top knot, who hasn't showered in a week. But that never happened.
When I ran into someone that I liked, it was fleeting, like my peaceful time at the park. We'd chat and then part our separate ways- never to run into each other again.
I always thought, "why don't we exchange info" but I always felt funny about asking, so I never did.
When my daughter was born, I was at the park with my son, 8 and her so when I would meet a Mom with a baby it was easier to let them go. I still felt weird, I guess, about asking to "hook up" again. Some Mom's just look cool, or the way they talk to their babies seems cool. You see people and you just feel like you can relate somehow. It is judging a book by it's cover, absolutely, it's like dating that way, but when you are a Mom (first time or not) to a new baby- you are fucking desperate to have someone to talk to, whom is not only a Mother but a Mother of a newborn, or baby, or toddler- whatever stage you are in. That is what you want in your "Mommy date".
So today I was brave (see what I did there?). Today I was the awkward gal that meet someone who is, seemingly, on the same page as I and I did something about it.
I gave her my number. Gal at the zoo. Salisha, I believe.
She came over with her little newborn who was born 2 days before mine and as soon as she said her daughter was 5 weeks old, I thought "I have to do it, I have to give her my number".
So I did- well, I gave her my email. That is the equivalent of a number now...
Now like the day after meeting that hot guy, I wait...
I wonder if she'll "call"?


  1. Did she call? Dying to know!

    I've attempted to write you a few times because I've always related to you and your writing, like the way you describe - I can tell we have much to discuss. Twice, in fact, and both times my comments have been eaten before I could hit send - grrrr.
    Bravo for you for your bravery! Interestingly, I had a similar issue when my now 19 year old daughter was much younger - lacked familial support and none of my friends had kids. Friendship and and a community of like-minded mamas becomes a huge priority once we enter motherhood. I would never hesitate to ask to exchange numbers, and in fact often did. My problem was with follow-up. I never called them, they never called me. You seem like you'd be really great about following through, so I am excited for you about your potential friend.
    Did she also give you her number?

  2. I also have a confession. I used to be a huge ssk fan and that's how I discovered your blog. I must admit that I did something I pride myself for NOT doing. I judged you. I thought you were a whiney bitch (really sorry!) who knew what she signed up for when she married a rock and roll guy and bitching about his being off on tour was unacceptable, even once you start a family. I was wrong and I am sorry.

    I have been living with my rock and roll guy for about a year and he's been to Norway three times on tour since we've been together. I vowed to be the "cool" rock and roll wife and to never bitch about his being away - it is how it is and I knew it going in. I thought about you and your blog often when grappling with the issue. My kid is old enough to be on her own and Pat and I don't have children together, other than the six cats, and he is only gone 2-3 weeks at a time 2 or 3 times per year. I am sorry for judging you, again. Even without having to raise his children alone in his absence, it gets HARD after a while. The alone time is kind of fun for the first week, but then it starts sucking. And no matter how much trust you have, seeing pics of him flanked by gorgeous Scandinavian women in amazing places starts to wear - and it's not that you are jealous or think they are fucking or whatever, it's that those total strangers get to explore Europe with my man while I observe via couch tour! It is hard - no matter how cool they are about it or how inclusive they are of you - it is just HARD. And I could not even imagine how much more difficult it would be if we had a family together. I think you are amazing and it's very brave of you to put your honesty out for anyone to judge and allowing yourself to be so vulnerable.
    Again, I am sorry for judging you and I hope you can not only forgive me, but I'd like to get to know you better. Ima send you a Facebook friend request - taking a chance putting myself out there like you did with the potential new friend, then sit back and wait - like I just met a hot guy. ;)