Friday, September 16, 2011

Oh please!

I am so so tired of reading parenting magazines and celebrity Mom tweets.
I could just barf.
I mean. Who is enlightened here, besides them?
I could stop reading. But I can't really. I mean, I am a Mom. It's like part of the job, right?
No. I have friends that have never picked up a Parenting magazine. They do not care what Tori Spellings daughters bday party theme is... I do. Fucking shoot me.
I read and have read possible every article in Parenting and the ill fated "Cookies" magazines and countless others. I use to get them all. I have backed down a little. Who needs all that? After a few years it is absolutely all the same shit, different cover.
I'm just wondering who are they marketing? Mothers with millions? Why don't they just call it that?
I'm not a cheap ass. I do like to spend money on my kids but more I like to be interesting for my kids. I guess, moeny does matter but sanity and happiness matter more.
I read about like Brooke Burke, she writes about all the things she is doing and all the while trying to sound like a super mom but really, I think she is just being super famous and mothering gets her new fans. They send out tweets for you to go look a product (that they are getting for free by the way, for sending out the stupid tweet) and it's like an $80 bottle of nail polish. Pa-leeze. You know you don't wear that brand.
I'm just sick of it. Where is the Mommy role model for the rest of us? I want to read about someone who has kids, some style, someone who has a life (I'm kidding, I don't care if she has a life), can get me informed about something I didn't know and crafts like a mother fucker.
Or I can just keep reading about celebrity moms that pretend to have perfect, genius kids and husbands that have sex with them every night, right after they get off their bow flex. The same ones that get up at 5 a.m. "before the kids get up" to work out with their personal trainer to be ready in time to get their hair and make up done before a photo shoot. OR I can stop reading all together and just give it up like crack. I'm kidding, I never did crack, not because I didn't have the opportunity, but because crack, is for losers.
But I'll keep reading because I want to know stuff, I have a sickening fascination for celebrities and I am an artist to my bones. I have a thirst for parenting knowledge too, like I can't get enough of it, it's like I'm in college... for 18 years. Possibly more. Who knows... now THAT is an article I have NOT read. Would be nice though. If anyone from Parenting or the like is reading, call me, I'm available.


  1. Hell YEAH. How did I not see this blog sooner???

    *telling all sane mommy friends in 3... 2... 1...*

  2. Try "Mothering" magazine. Or Hip Mama. Much more your style.