It's all part of the game.
The growing up game.
As a kid and even teenager, I didn't have a ton of friends.
When I was young we moved around too much, there was no way I could keep a friendship and after a while, I didn't want to make one- as soon as we'd get close, I'd move away.
There was this one girl, Joyce. I can't remember where we were living, I think I was in 2nd grade. After we moved that time, I sort of made a vow to myself, to not make any more good friends. She was the best. I think I tried to change my name to Joyce. I asked my family to call me Joyce. They didn't. They never wanted to do my wacky stuff. Imagination was not high on the list at my house.
When I was in my early 20's I met a great group of friends and that was the first real batch of people I could count on. They were like family. It was like in the movies. After I met and married Eddie, and moved away, those friendships faded. Like the movies. The lights came on and I was once again surrounded by a bunch of people who were really not my friends.
Making friends in Seattle in 1999, after marrying Eddie after 3 months did not make me very popular. He had his group of friends that became mine by circumstance but it took some time to make my own. Out of the 10-15 people, I am friends with a total of 3 of them now.
I have been here for 12 years and it now my turn to have real grown up friends. I did the school circuit right, I joined the PTA and managed to stay away from the crazy ones (not the real crazy ones, they are too fun to watch) and make a handful of awesome friends. I feel lucky as a 35 year old girl, I get to have some men and women that are really my friends. Not my parents, not my old boyfriends, not my husbands. They are mine.
I am sad at the shedding of friends that happens when you go on to have a family and life just gets in the way. But I think it is just part of the cycle. I appreciate the cycle, when we have to go without we sometimes find the motherload.