Friday, September 16, 2011

Wiggly stripes.

So a few days ago, there were millions of warm blooded american women lining up at the most ridiculous hour to get a cart(s) full of every type of clothing, bedding and house wares you can imagine- all with the same pattern. This has bothered me ever since. Can we not all agree that this is retarded? I use that word in the most literal way, as in Webster's Dictionary says "mentally slower than someone of the same age". I'd say that's right. Even though they were, no doubt, retarded women of all ages, I just can't think of a more ridiculous thing to do. It is NOT like Black Friday when people flock to the stores at the same insane hour- THAT is for a sale, people. I get that. And let's face it, most of you do too. Sales are sales and these days EVERYONE needs a sale. So sure, get up early, fight some old broad for a 90" flat screen for $50 and you've got yourself a deal (kidding, I know nothing about TVs except, I like mine small enough so that you don't notice them when you walk in my house, complete opposite of every american, I know, I know). So say you get up and you go get this crap that has the wiggly stripes and you fill your house to look like that commercial. What... No, no, no, no... Ok wait, first of all, why? Please tell me why? It's all the same fucking pattern people!!?? As I look around my place, first floor of my cozy (re: small) 3 story house, I see nothing that has the same pattern. The only similarities anything in here are the two pillows I recently bought. They match. There's only two... we don't have a rug anymore, so the pillows really tie the room together. I guess I'm just venting and irritated that so many people are talking about this wiggly stripe thing like it is anything to talk about. They just created something that is the price range that more people can clammer on to. The Birkin bag of Sex And The City.. um, no. Bitches can't be afforden' that shit. So they give us this line in Target, that they hype up and mass produce, all together now "MASS PRODUCE" (not that there is anything wrong with that) but what good is anything so trendy? Huh? Ugh, I shudder to even say that word. I hate the word "trendy", maybe it is because I grew up with that tag of "different" which I didn't like any more than trendy but now I get it. I get that the haters of my youth gave me the strength to stay away from the god damn wiggly stripes and all the like... I mean, can you imagine showing up at the bar with a fucking stripe wrap dress and seeing a couple other chicks with it on? I would feel... what's the word of that day again? Oh yeah, "retarded*". The only thing worse that showing up at the bar dressed like every other trendy wanna-be, special hipster, is showing up on the playground dressed like another mom. Dude. I need a nap. *I am not talking about anyone of special needs. I wish we could come up with a better describing phrase than... well all of the ones that have been known to plague this amazing group of people. If you think or take offense and think I am speaking hurtful about anyone who is living with Down Syndrome or any other genetic condition- well you don't know me at all and you should be slapped. Alright, that's it. Just trying to cleanse my head before I go to bed. Which is empty again tonight because my husband decided at the ripe old age of 14 that he wanted to be a rock n roller. So whatever, he is and I am going to wait for him- again, because he is waiting for me, allegedly.


  1. Amen. (also I am in total agreement on on the TV thing...)
    From one weirdo to another, it boggles my mind.

  2. Thank you!! Now "weirdo" that is a name I can get behind.

  3. Agree - agree - agree - agree :)
    In our flat nothing matches either. I personally find it kinda boring if everything matches. I put all sort of pictures on my cupboards, like a collage. That makes me maybe a bit strange to others, or to put in a nice way: that makes me different as some say ;) I don't care. It's my flat. Full-stop.

    How was Elvis' birthday party? Did she enjoy the doll that pees?

    All the best from a quite sunny Berlin

  4. Her birthday was fantastic. Exactly what a 2 year old wants. Water, bubbles and cake. No party for her this year, I just came to the realization that babies don't need parties, the parents do and that is lame. I'll have my own party on my birthday.
    The doll that pees sits next to her loo, that sits next to Elvis'. She has little interest 5 days a week and then 2 days she's full on into it... women.
    Cold as shit here in Seattle.

  5. Makes sense. Guess the first 'real' birthday party for my daughter was when she turned 4 years old. And although it was a good day for her - it was a terrible day for me, because I fatally decided to have the mothers and/or fathers of the other kids my daughter invited there too, the whole afternoon... I can deal with a bunch of 4-years-old - the parents are the problem! Me jumping around between kitchen, kids-entertainment-stuff and the parents-entertainment... I AM multi-tasking (I'm a mother!), but those parents were a bit too much for me in a way. Adults are more complex than kids by far (usually). What a stupid idea I thought afterwards! Maybe I just should have tried a "Cut it out, please!" to one of the mothers, too? You never know that might have worked. But I guess I was too busy of jumping back and forth. The choice of kids your daughter invites to her 4th birthday party isn't really comprehensible either. At that age it only matters which child is sharing the toys in kindergarten or is out on the playing-ground with you. Will never forget the one mother who asked for some very special tea to drink, a certain mixture of almost unknown herbs with spices and whatever, also completely organic of course. A few herbs she mentioned I even never heard of before, so I could not offer her that kind of tea, just the basic stuff. Anyone more coffee???
    (While having cake that same mother told us about the 'fantastic' delivery and that she kept the after-birth... - no more comments).
    That was the first and last time I had the parents around.
    Good idea always to go somewhere with the kids. Like in Berlin they offered those backstage-of-the-zoo-tours. Ever fed penguins, a hippopotamus (when their mouth opens right in front of you... holy cow - so HUGE!!) or went into the cage of the desert jerboas? Those were fun birthday parties :)

    Still a bit of sun out here in Berlin, but autumn is near.

    Take care!