Friday, September 16, 2011
So a few days ago, there were millions of warm blooded american women lining up at the most ridiculous hour to get a cart(s) full of every type of clothing, bedding and house wares you can imagine- all with the same pattern. This has bothered me ever since. Can we not all agree that this is retarded? I use that word in the most literal way, as in Webster's Dictionary says "mentally slower than someone of the same age". I'd say that's right. Even though they were, no doubt, retarded women of all ages, I just can't think of a more ridiculous thing to do. It is NOT like Black Friday when people flock to the stores at the same insane hour- THAT is for a sale, people. I get that. And let's face it, most of you do too. Sales are sales and these days EVERYONE needs a sale. So sure, get up early, fight some old broad for a 90" flat screen for $50 and you've got yourself a deal (kidding, I know nothing about TVs except, I like mine small enough so that you don't notice them when you walk in my house, complete opposite of every american, I know, I know). So say you get up and you go get this crap that has the wiggly stripes and you fill your house to look like that commercial. What... No, no, no, no... Ok wait, first of all, why? Please tell me why? It's all the same fucking pattern people!!?? As I look around my place, first floor of my cozy (re: small) 3 story house, I see nothing that has the same pattern. The only similarities anything in here are the two pillows I recently bought. They match. There's only two... we don't have a rug anymore, so the pillows really tie the room together. I guess I'm just venting and irritated that so many people are talking about this wiggly stripe thing like it is anything to talk about. They just created something that is the price range that more people can clammer on to. The Birkin bag of Sex And The City.. um, no. Bitches can't be afforden' that shit. So they give us this line in Target, that they hype up and mass produce, all together now "MASS PRODUCE" (not that there is anything wrong with that) but what good is anything so trendy? Huh? Ugh, I shudder to even say that word. I hate the word "trendy", maybe it is because I grew up with that tag of "different" which I didn't like any more than trendy but now I get it. I get that the haters of my youth gave me the strength to stay away from the god damn wiggly stripes and all the like... I mean, can you imagine showing up at the bar with a fucking stripe wrap dress and seeing a couple other chicks with it on? I would feel... what's the word of that day again? Oh yeah, "retarded*". The only thing worse that showing up at the bar dressed like every other trendy wanna-be, special hipster, is showing up on the playground dressed like another mom. Dude. I need a nap. *I am not talking about anyone of special needs. I wish we could come up with a better describing phrase than... well all of the ones that have been known to plague this amazing group of people. If you think or take offense and think I am speaking hurtful about anyone who is living with Down Syndrome or any other genetic condition- well you don't know me at all and you should be slapped. Alright, that's it. Just trying to cleanse my head before I go to bed. Which is empty again tonight because my husband decided at the ripe old age of 14 that he wanted to be a rock n roller. So whatever, he is and I am going to wait for him- again, because he is waiting for me, allegedly.