Monday, January 6, 2014

Follow your... err... dreams?

Growing up I had a pretty good life. It was decent.
I had a really amazing family but you know, the nuts and bolts were pretty good.

Divorce, check!
Three bedroom house in the valley, check!
Neighborhood shenanigans, check!
Problems in school, check!
Adulthood met kicking and screaming, check!

But as I am in my 30's and raising 3 children, one who is 13 now- I am curious about what my "dreams" were... as a youth, growing up in middle america.
What did I want to "be"?

I have no idea.

My husband and I joke about what we want to be when we "grow up", knowing full well we should be just that already. Sure we are in the throws of "Teen Mom" and all that good stuff but really with a spouse, a house and kids- growing up is upon us.
We are, as they say, in the throws of it.

So what does that do for my childhood dreams? I mean, I guess I didn't make it.
He did. He has only wanted to be one thing and he is it. He is an enigma.

There's a quote by Bukowski that I have always loved, it sort of made me feel better about the whole childhood dream. Maybe it has nothing to do with childhood, maybe it is the thing in us we finally find we love.

"Find what you love and let it kill you."

Alrighty then.

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