Saturday, July 17, 2010

Happy birthday to me.

So 34 years in and I am learning some things about myself. Hey, maybe I always knew them but now I actually like these things about me. Not that I was ever one of those self deprecating individuals, this I am not, but ever since I can remember I have always been on the quasi quest of "who am I and why am I here?". For reals. I have.
I know that I am funny, this is something I remember always finding easy. I do make some jokes at your expense but only if I love you. If I don't like you, you are not worth crackin wise at, I'm just not into it. 
I'm a "right brain" so I am messy. I have too many ideas and things I want to do and maybe I feel like I am always running out of time- time in a week, time in a day... maybe time in life? I don't know. I have a slight fear that I will die when I am not ready, this too I remember as a child. As soon as I figured out (because no, no one sat down and told me) that we all die, I was overwhelmed with the feeling that I would be "next". Well, I wasn't but someday I will be and that, on occasion, scares the shit out of me.
I am willing to forgive for pretty much everything, except infidelity and crimes toward my kids. I am honest in knowing that we aren't perfect and I am okay with you anyway. Forgiveness can come in minutes or months but I will almost always make you beg for it.

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