Friday, July 30, 2010

In the beginning.

I had left my ex boyfriends house so excited about the show, I called Heidi up and said "we are going to see the Supersuckers tonight!". And that was that, we were going. I don't even remember her asking any questions, we were good like that.
I had stopped at his house (my old place) to get some stuff out of the basement. I am guessing when we broke up I left in a hurry. It's all a little foggy but I do remember a night (no doubt one of the last in that place) where he was grabbing handfuls of my clothes and throwing them on the front lawn (classic!) and my best friend was sainted that night, as she would follow behind him, pick the shit up and bring it back in the bedroom. This went on forever it seemed, I was distraught, unstable and most likely scratching my arms from wrist to elbow. Hey, it was the 90's, I was constantly intoxicated, medicated and depressed. Anyway, my ex was there, he was always weird around me since the split. I think he tried to act like he didn't care about me, hoping things would change, but I was a real hot mess. I don't think "unstable" begins to describe where I was, mentally, so he was smart to distance himself.
He watched in silence as I removed the boxes. At this point I was enjoying being on my own, I wanted nothing to do with him or any other guy. I needed to find out who I was, stop drinking so much and lay off the cocaine. As I was leaving I told him thanks for letting me get my shit, and then he said "are you going to the show tonight?" I wasn't aware of any show, truth be told, I was winding down from the scene, I had spent many a drunken night at some club smoking myself to death and drinking 5 o'clock vodka by the fifth...
he says "the Supersuckers are playing" and that moment felt like a little bit of fate had stepped in, if I hadn't gone there that day, everything would be different.
It was always kind of "our" band. When I met him in AZ he wore this classic cracked logo Tshirt of theirs. I was unaware of the band when we met, but when he played one of their records for me I was hooked. It was the best thing I ever heard, it was instantly my favorite band. We were all heavy into crusty punk and for some reason it never really spoke to me. I liked it because it was who I rebelled with, when I became aware of the scene I went there, 100%. I wanted to belong to something my Mother didn't understand and more importantly- hated.
Okay back to my night, September 9, 1999.

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