Friday, July 2, 2010

I never read a parenting book cover to cover because of one simple reason- I don't believe that there is one philosophy, one way. I just don't think that's how it goes. Each child is different, requiring you to read yet another stack of, what I like to call "one idea", books.
I will happen upon an article or a piece of info from a conversation from a friend and then do a little research about the subject, only to find a concept that is nothing more than a pile of rules... and if there's one thing I don't like, it's being broke, um and rules, yeah, I don't like rules.
The whole idea of the "family bed", great idea, especially for us nursing mothers, it is a nice thought to have the baby laying next to you, only to wake up for a moment root around a bit then, "JACKPOT!". But what about when they are 4? Family bed? No thanks. And I guess I should say, although I like to think this goes without saying, that I am not judging. If it works for you, great. I'm only speaking of moi.
So the family bed. I get it, I like it. I wish, in ways, it worked for me. But I can't sleep, like really sleep with a baby in my bed, not to mention a thrashing 4 year old (or 9!) So parts of that concept are good for me, keep 'em close but not too close.
That brings me to the opposite method, "CIO" aka "cry it out". There is just NO way I could do it like they have it in the books. I read, from a "doctor", that you stretch the time out between going in an checking on your crying baby. Like 5, 10, 15 minutes... then it says crying for 30-90 minutes is not "uncommon" and also vomiting isn't unusual. Okay, I'm sorry- WHAT THE FUCK?? Are they suggesting that I leave my baby in their crib, check on them (it says to not pick them up) and if they are so hysterical that they barf I shouldn't think this is alarming? I don't know who this works for, for this I am going to take back the not judging part. If you are sleep "training" your baby and they cry so hard they throw up al over your crib, I judge you.
Anyway, this is what I am thinking about right now. All these "rules" and all the non-bendiness of the rules I read. Can't we just have a book that has a little bit of everything? Options from both sides (except from crazy, make your babies head spin around), all sides?
I sit here, with my 9 month old fast asleep with no one method to thank, and wonder.

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