So my best friend of about 15 years up and moved about a month ago... maybe more, I am too busy to keep count.
We hadn't seen each other in about a month, she was elusive it seemed, I assumed she was dating someone new, she always kinda took off for a bit when a new guy came a long. It was just part of her, I eventually accepted that and anyway, all seemed pretty good between us. She bagged our plans maybe twice in that month, dinner at my place or a movie, which was usually me, I have two kids I can't always hold up my social plans, that is part of who I am.
One day I was walking around Home Depot and I sent her a text, I thought it had been long enough and we were back home from a trip, so I thought I would check in with her. After the obligatory "how's it going? I've been so busy" she asks if I had seen her facebook page, I hadn't and she said she was moving back "home".
I know we are grown ups, I know that she owes me nothing, I mean, I guess. I always thought we were best friends turns out, we weren't even really friends.
See we went to a bar one night (months prior) and evidently she made a joke about moving back to MI and I said "you'd move back there?" and that is when she decided that I would not be privy to know she was already knee deep in boxes. She is under the impression that I don't think MI is "cool" or something. I mean, what makes a place cool? I didn't realize I was so trivial. But small town people do that. Whenever I talk shit about where I am from, people there get all defensive, as if they created the damn place. I don't really care. I couldn't live in a lot of places, but I could also live in a lot of places... sorry, I am just getting side tracked, she really pissed me off.
So just like that. We exchanged a couple of emails, her feeling the victim and me sort of blind sided but the whole deal- I am happy she moved if that is where she wanted to be but I am so
irritated about how she just sort of up and left. Who does that? 15 years, and that's it? Funny thing, that this kinda happened before, when I moved to Seattle, she sort of just fell off the side of the earth for a couple years, I was having a baby and she didn't give a shit, never even called me- years later we both put it all in the past and she moved to Seattle and I was a good friend. But it's not going to happen like that again. I had to explain to Q what happened to her and he was at a loss as well. He didn't understand it, kept saying "she just didn't say good bye?", I lied, I told him she told me to tell him "bye".
Bitch.
Ouch. When it hurts your kids it's even harder to forgive.
ReplyDeleteit is. And only the ones with kids understand that.
ReplyDeleteIt's like a big "no no".
"Whenever I talk shit about where I am from, people there get all defensive, as if they created the damn place. I don't really care. I couldn't live in a lot of places, but I could also live in a lot of places... "
ReplyDeletethis just happened to me. someone told me I was "snobbish" and I should stay true to my roots. *sigh*
I'm sorry that happened to you. really. I've lost a lot of best friends. It sucks every single time no matter why we separated.
thank you.
ReplyDeletejd, you were a good friend to her and i suspect that you didn't get much in return, ever. i know that she was fun to hang out with, but i always felt like she was emotionally disconnected. anyway, i believe that sometimes people come into your life, serve their purpose and leave. she showed you who she really is and you are better off without her.
ReplyDeletehave a happy happy birthday and an excellent rummage sale!
Thank you JP, that sounds about right.
ReplyDelete